I haven’t posted in quite awhile. Things have been going pretty decent at my house…so far. DH has been more involved in the parenting process of SD12. He isn’t showing the favoritism that he once did and he’s not parenting out of guilt anymore. So far so good….

Now for my issue.

BM is not the best mother in the world. She is trying to be more of a friend to SD12 than a mother. BM doesn’t have the best morals in the world…hell she doesn’t have any really. Let me give you a little background information to better help you understand my situation…. BM was 14 when she got pregnant with her first child. (this wasn’t SD12 as she didn’t even know DH at this point) She didn’t finish high school and pretty much let her mother raise the child. Then she met DH and they decided to get married. She then moved out of her mother’s house into DH’s house where he assumed the responsibility of helping her raise the child. When their marriage ended because of her affair, she found a new boyfriend and moved in with him. (where she still lives) The child and the boyfriend didn’t get along, so instead of trying to find out what the problem was or counseling or anything she just took the boyfriends side all of the time in arguments. The boyfriend said either he (child) goes or they both (BM and child) have to move out….needless to say she picked the boyfriend over her child. The child was again at BM’s mother’s for her mother to raise him. The BM works part-time and would rather go out drinking and partying than spending time with her children.

I did have a purpose for telling you all of this….I promise.

Here recently SD12 has been very secretive about things. I checked her MySpace page and found it not to be so appropriate for a 12 year old girl to have. I showed it to DH…he was not happy to say the least. He called BM asking her to give him a call regarding SD12’s MySpace. That was 2 weeks ago and she has yet to contact him. She let’s SD12 go all over the neighborhood to boys’ houses until well past the time she should be home. She allows SD12 to be on her MySpace page at 11pm or later…my sister has caught her before…several times. She allows SD12 to take phone calls on her cell phone late at night. She allows SD12 to stay out of school whenever she feels like it…the list goes on and on. SD12 likes to be at BM’s house more than she does ours because she can do whatever she wants over there but has rules at our house. I’m afraid she’s going to turn out like her mother. She is already mimicking BM’s personality traits.

DH is irritated that she will turn out like her mother but feels helpless since BM won’t work with him. Of course she wouldn’t…she doesn’t see anything wrong with it. He just says that SD12 is his daughter and he still loves her.

MY issue is that I don’t want her to turn out like her mother! She is so smart and can do so much more and be so much better but she is choosing the lazy way. How do I stop this from happening or is there anything I can do besides stand back and watch it happen?