Keeping BM out of my house...
DH does all the exchanges at BM's house because I have said that I don't want BM or her BF at our house. Lots of toxic history with them over the years. I asked DH a year ago to not let them come here anymore and he understood and agreed. It's my way of keeping a boundary with them and not letting their chaos into my space. It's a big deal for me and DH respected that and it's made things a lot better. Until today.
So, today skids were to go to BM for the rest of winter break, but apparently BM and her BF have some big surprise for them at her house, I'm assuming Santa gifts. Anyway, she told DH that her BF will be here at Noon to pick up the kids with some sob story as to why he can't drop them off and the BF needs to come here. Ya know, we don't want to ruin the surprise and upset the kids, etc. And DH said, okay. WTF?
I'm so angry and disappointed. My DH is normally great at respecting my wishes and watching out for our family but he got swept up in the idea that this was about the kids so it's okay. Of course when he told me, I wasn't happy and told him that I don't agree with his decision. I feel really powerless and sad. I don't want them in my home, I don't think that is too much to ask. He chose to appease BM today over me, his wife.
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DH could have met the BF at
DH could have met the BF at the gas station up the street or whatever.
How old are the kids? No need for BF or BM to actually go into your home (or get out of the car, even) but I get that you don't even want them in the driveway. I, myself, have always preferred a BM free neighborhood.
^^^^^this. Gas station or
^^^^^this. Gas station or driveway.
I made the most years ago of letting stabby BM in my home. Just say no to BM.
The skids are 8 and 6, old
The skids are 8 and 6, old enough to get in and out of the car on their own. But BF has to make his presence known...he is that kind a guy...will always come to the door and stand their like an alpha male.
I suggested the gas station, but DH didn't want to do that or rock the boat in anyway.
but DH didn't want to do that
but DH didn't want to do that or rock the boat in anyway.
Well, no wonder BF likes to strut is alpha maleness. Eff that!
What I was thinking.
What I was thinking.
BM constantly tried to get in
BM constantly tried to get in my house. Or at least peek in. Used to piss me off to no end. It almost became a game. Even when SS was in his late teens...when she would pick him up, she would try to beat him to the front door before he came out. It almost became a game. See who could get out of the house or car first. lol
So what I did was have SS ready and waiting and send him out as soon as she got close. Or send SS and DH out as soon as she got close. I did not even want her stepping on my grass at one point. lol
Have DH and kids ready at the window right before pick up. As soon as BF drives up, have DH walk the kids out of the house and to the BF car.
I have never had ANY desire
I have never had ANY desire to step one toe inside BM's house, have never cared what it looked like or anything.
What is the fascination for them to see into ours?
Me either! But dang if BM
Me either! But dang if BM would barely put her car in park and start almost running to our front door for a peek or invite.
I usually won though. lol
I am actually surprised she never asked to use our restroom.
Ha! BM asked to use our
Ha! BM asked to use our restroom once, the day after she started yelling at DH at our front door. Screaming at him in front of all the kids. That was when I put my foot down and said no more, she is not welcome here. Unfortunately my DH has forgotten how strongly I feel about this.
I hear a heavy cast iron
I hear a heavy cast iron skillet laid upside the back of the head with a full swing behind it can cure that pesky selective memory disorder....j/s
During the warm months DH has
During the warm months DH has SS4 get ready in bum clothes about ten to fifteen minutes before she's due and they go play outside. She still walks SS to the door when she drops him off but it's really unnecessary. We have keypad entry so DH is always waiting for SS at the door.
DH is planning on putting up a fence with a gate so she will only have enough room to pull in and then back out into the road instead of coming all the way up the driveway like she still lives here.
Oh how I would LOVE for BM to
Oh how I would LOVE for BM to enter my property - it would be the first time in years she would actually experience a well kept yard , patio and a clean organized house . She would actually see ( gasp ) that her son , 12 and her daughter , almost 9 have their own, large bedrooms with their own baths. Oh I would so love to show her how sad it is that she is still stashing a 12 year old boy in a bunk bed with his sister at the hovel she lives .
Unfortunately BM won't even get out of her car in my driveway
Ohh hellll no! She's coming
Ohh hellll no! She's coming to be nosey. See what you have and how the place is looking. Sure she can come get the kids... And your h can walk them to the curb. We do this every week at our house with our skids. Bm comes... I watch them get in the car from the door if their dad isn't home. When h picks them up she does the same.