Hi,

I am overwhelmed today. My fiance and I are expecting our daughter in April 2010. His 11 years old son was living with his bio-mother until last September 09. That was a total of a year and 9 months after my fiance and her divorce. He is finishing to pay the $800 in child support he owed her while supporting his son 100% and she doesn't ... at all, whether emotionally or physically, and she doesn't even have a job but leaches off her boyfriend .... literally. Well, anyways, she managed to get the poor boy to be sexually abused by her current boyfriend's nephew who "made him" "do things" to her current boyfriend's niece ... I truly live on Jerry Springer. It is HELL. Anyways ... so the woman decided that helping her son out through the ordeal was too inconvenient and got ride of him by giving him to his father (but she is keeping "custody", go figure!). She Calls ... every 3 weeks for about 5 minutes to see how "he" is doing while still conveniently receiving her child support every two weeks for the next 3 months ... then it's over with that, thanks GOD! Her argument when she gave my Fiance her son was: "I am trying to be a better parent". To whom? Her son or the 4 years old son of her boyfriend? What a NUT CASE situation. Anyways ... my Fiance's son is 11, on daytrona, Chlonidine and abilify .... for ADHD ONLY!! Can you imagine if he had something more serious? Man, so, we managed to get him off the Abilify right now and are working towards lowering the daytrona dosage .... THIS kid needs EVERYTHING repeated to him, he actually is AWARE but DECIDES not to listen because everyone has always said "oh, he has ADHD, it's just his ADHD". I am certain of it. I was married to a man with ADHD previously and am myself bipolar. This is COMPLETE BS!!!!! And so ... my life feels like a struggle everytime I have to DEAL with the kid. Although ... he doesn't hate me, that's a plus. Some other problems include his interpretation of Love being as: "BUY ME THINGS AT THE STORE!!!! ALL THE TIME!!!! I WILL CRY AND ACT UP WHEN I AM FRUSTRATED!!! AND I AM 11 YEARS OLD!!!" OMG ... I can hardly deal with this. His father is working at helping him, he really is, but I feel that the actual consequences for the boys' actions are not strict enough and that most of it is a big harsh mean "tone of voice" that doesn't produce results. I am worried about my daughter's interraction with her brother. I am not sure I can trust ... this kid's decision making ability in terms of safety and common sense, of course, but also, I am not going to have the strength to deal with them both ... I just won't have it. So if this boy goes wrong, what does that mean for my daughter?
I feel ... very uneasy, worried and uncomfortable with this situation. Don't know what to do.