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The Seven Deadly Sins of Biodads

thinkthrice's picture

1. Unilaterally agreeing to sudden schedule changes/events with BM and not consulting with SM in advance
2. Allowing BM-sponsored skid espionage
3. Reminiscing about previous marriage/family incessantly in front of SM
4. Allowing mini-spouse activity/disrespect of SM by BM and skids
5. Playing victim and not even trying to parent because "I don't have that much time with them" "I can't influence them"
6. Taking frustration out on the wrong parties (i.e. taking frustration with BM/skids out on SM/blaming SM)
7. Expecting SM to pick up the slack financially, emotionally, physically for skids (maid, chauffeur, admin assistant, laundress, cook, nanny, paralegal) ex. overspending on skids due to SM's income; having SM babysit and/or make appointments for skids, etc.

 

I'm sure there are more specifics but these items seem to grind SM's gears the most.
 

Comments

Simpleton21's picture

Agreed!  I have also noticed that I will think DH has made progress and I will think he is on the same page and then SD shows up and all of the sudden he has forgotten the last 45 conversations about how we will handle his little precious *bad*

thinkthrice's picture

ye olde backslide aka the 180 when under pressure

Simpleton21's picture

LOL, so true but he should feel like he is under pressure around a damn 12 year old girl.  Man up!  It is really disgusting to watch the transformation.  

ntm's picture

Accusing SM of putting him in the middle, between SM (his WIFE, who he vowed to forsake all others for) and the BM (the EX, who he is more afraid of upsetting.)

The damage to the couple's relationship when the SM goes through all of the above (#5 SCREEEAAM) is irreparable. Kicked to the curb too many times. 

Simpleton21's picture

My DH doesn't really do number 3 but SD tries to all the time.  Remember when I was 1 and blah blah blah.  Shit I'm sure she doesn't even remember herself just some regurgitated tale that BM told her about and thinks is so cute.  I hate that.  I also hate that SD constantly talks about BM and her bf on every visit.  Seriously, IDGAF about your mother and her bf.  Although the two times she told us about BM shitting her pants was comical.  

Thisisnotus's picture

OMG I hate number 1..........I think it starts with number 1 and then everything spirals out of that.

If a man is willing to make plans and schedule things with ANOTHER woman.....without consulting his actual WIFE....everything else because of that is a problem......that leads to everything else on earth that these men do....when it comes to BM and skids. Just doing number 1....simply tells a SM...that she is an after thought...her opinion doesn't matter....then everyone wonders why we loathe the skids. ha

Siemprematahari's picture

God help those SM's that choose to deal with 1-7 on a consistent basis.....There's no way I would have lasted with even one of these. 

thinkthrice's picture

#7 he wanted to do himself (except for the FINANCIAL part--he automatically thought I would be overjoyed to contribute to his previously enjoyed family)

Lndsy747's picture

You missed telling SM "You don't like my child" when boundaries are set. Luckily with SD PASd I don't have to deal with any of this currently but reading that list brought back some bad memories. 

Mostly 1, 6, and 7 for me.