WTF
I have lost all faith in the Family Court system. I have no idea how a judge can rip a three year old girl away from her father who has never done anything without thinking about her. He has held the same job for the last 7 years, made a home for her that has not changed in the last year, and has provided her with steady caregivers who have always been family and has never just dissappeared from her life. I quit. There is nothing to hope for now because if the BM does anything that would merit changing the out come of the trial today it is going to really hurt my beloved SD. How can this happen? The BM has moved 6 times in the last year, living with two different boyfriends and over ten different room mates, who helped to raise my SD. She has posted what the judge called "almost" pornographic pictures of my SD online and has left her in the care of an ex boyfriend (who she had dated for three weeks) that decided to bathe her. I dont understand. My DH is the most loving, responsible and playful man I have ever witnessed around his daughter. He took paternity leave to care for his premee daughter so her mother could return to school, and she didn't even graduate! She skipped half of school. This is unbelievable. And now SD is going to live in a different province far enough away that we wouldn't hear the warnings if anything is about to go wrong. I just don't understand.
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Wow. That is so sad. What
Wow. That is so sad. What was the deciding factor for the judge?
The maternal grandma... She
The maternal grandma... She cried and yelled and pointed me out in the middle of the court room and told me I have no right to be part of any decision that involves this child. Idk.. the judge seemed to like the BM from the beginning and dislike my DH. This is soo unexpected. We have worked really hard, and honestly we are more stable. I just dont understand. And to top it off, now any time that DH and BM can not agree the grandma is the deciding factor. Maybe I should have cried more. I just thought that that would look unstable and immature.
BMs mom is the deciding
BMs mom is the deciding factor? That is such BS.
Yea, I agree. But if they
Yea, I agree. But if they fuck up this time there is no way the judge can defend them, right? :-S
Gosh I hope not. She has
Gosh I hope not. She has already proven herself unstable, some judges need to see physical abuse from the BM in order to send them with someone else.
Thetis - I am so sorry. I
Thetis - I am so sorry. I cannot believe this is happening. Can you appeal the decision? What does the attorney say? I don't understand this and it frightens me to no end. But please... don't give up. Contact your local Father's Rights' Group and see if they can help you at all. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family..
*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***
The judge has bound the case
The judge has bound the case to himself for a year, so even if we try anything we will still have this dumb grandpa, who must have a child who looks like the BM or something. It was sick the way he shut down my DH and warmed to her. WE HAD A FUCKING THERAPIST tell him that the child needs to stop losing people and live a stable routine life.
I expect the BM to lose
I expect the BM to lose interest and patience in 6 months to a year. She has a new boyfriend, who has no kids, and loves to party. And really what 20 year old doesn't? I wouldn't be surprised if she calls us up and starts asking us to take her.
This all just sucks though. SD is in preschool here, she has loads of family around and a bunch of friends. How is it healthy to leave these people?
That is frightening. As
That is frightening.
As far as you not being able to apply for a new judge, I thought per federal law that they had to give you a new judge if you show just cause.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on." ~Robert Frost
awww..... This is scaring
awww.....
This is scaring the shit out of me, we are going to court next tuesday.....for different issues but still...I hope we don't get a old fart like that one.
So sorry to hear that this is happening to you...
Be strong, we have your back!
Chaotic
OMG....I feel so bad for
OMG....I feel so bad for u.....that's the problem with the system.....inconsistent Judges.....its like a spin of the wheel to see how the law will be interpreted in each, individual case....we got lucky and got a female Judge who was fed up with yur typical "live of the CS and screw the kids" BM...and she threw the book at her......but I know not everyone is so lucky....not sure on the law where you live, but u have no appeal process? You need a pitbull of an attorney to fight, fight, fight....the squeaky wheel gets the grease...of course it costs alot of $$$ too.....maybe u shuld look into a new attorney.....I don't see how the pictures weren't an issue here.....
A mother is not defined by the "b" or the "s" in front of her name, she is defined by how she handles the "mother" part.....
Well, we'll see. If the BM
Well, we'll see. If the BM decides to move again and take SD out of school (the school that impressed the judge sooo much) we'll be getting a lawyer and taking her back. I'm just still so shocked that he allowed things to go the way they did. The grandma literally pointed me out in the court room and yelled at me. I don't understand how this can be considered ok. But we'll see.
Ohhhhhhhh Thetis. This just
Ohhhhhhhh Thetis. This just makes me sick. I'm so sorry.
Well I just hope that with
Well I just hope that with this door closing a bigger one will open. We did not lose custody, we just lost alot of access. Maybe she'll fuck up and the judge will be able to change things more in our favor.
they are all PRICKS, the
they are all PRICKS,
the whole court system,and government sucks, from CS to custody.
They don't care about the fathers or the kids. only about
who's got the money, and who gave birth??
My SS lives out of state and has for almost 7 years now,
my husband has missed out on sooo much,She's the one that took the kid and moved,she's the one that doesn't work to support him and guess what?
she's the one that has ALL THE RIGHTS, she's the one who comes out on top, she's the one who gets the hugs when she buys him "Rock band" with OUR money, but.... he is catching on, he's 12 now,and not so stupid, he's FINALLY old enough to start figuring things out,and old enough that once in a while we can set him straight on who's supporting him and who's at home sitting on her ass,,, They are not stupid, just put in the middle of a mess they didn't ask for.
Omg!!!!! I am so sorry you
Omg!!!!! I am so sorry you had to experience that and your man had to lose what was most precious to him on a daily basis.
Sometimes these judges are sitting on their brains and their asses are up in their heads in my opinion.
I agree with some other comments.... BM will get tired and he will have his precious little one back.
I hope you guys pull together at this time and help keep your man's spirits high at this time.....
She will (BM) screw up again.
********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************
Yea, he's been really great.
Yea, he's been really great. I'm destroyed. My mom is in the hospital right now and she's my bestfriend, so this is especailly tough. Our little girl has been such a huge part of my life for the last year. I love her more then anything, even him somedays. Shes the light in my life. This is going to be so hard.
Thank you for all the
Thank you for all the understanding. I'm going to be going to church today for the first time in 10 years. Maybe I'll find enough peace to be able to sleep again.