The stresses of trials...
On Thursday the 8th of October my DH is going to a trial to fight for sole custody of his 3 year old daughter. I have had to step out of helping him organize things for this trial because it was just way too much for me to deal with. He plans things in a different way then I do. I am not a procrastinator and he is. But he does always seem to have things finished in time, so I stepped out and just let him go with it.
Now I have to say I love my SD as if she was my own. However as its always pointed out but biological mothers, How the Hell would I know what it feels like to have my own? But when she cuddles into me and tells me that she "Very loves me" I know that I would do anything for her. She is a huge part of my life, and since I don't know how things are going to go at the trial I want to spend as much time with her as possible. I already spend more time with her then her mother cares to. I have soo many worries about this trial.
Can a man actually win in the court system?
No judge would actually pull a child out of preschool to move five hours away, away from all her family other then her BM right?
My SD isn't going to hate us for trying to "take her away" from her BM when she is older, right?
The fact that we have a home, the same home we've had for the last year, matters right?
My DH has kept the same job for the last 7 years, that shows he's responsible, right?
The fact that I stay at home and care for my SD in our home matters right?
I just wish I knew for a fact that my SD will be ok. I'm afraid for her to be living with her BM, who seems to think of my SD as an assesory (kinda like a mini-dog in a purse). She is a person to me. Someone who learns from everything around her. Someone with limitless potential, who can reach hights that I can't even imagine with the right support. She is my best friend, a priceless companion, who learns from me almost as much as I learn from her. God I hope she'll be ok.
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Comments
I know how you feel. I
I know how you feel.
I remember when DH was fighting for custody of my SDs. I love them as if they were my own too. Their mother treated them and DH like crap and we knew that it was urgent that we get them out of that situation. Documentation helped us out a lot, along with our numerous trips to court due to BM's withholding visitation. We had them every other weekend.
I don't know too much about your BM. Is she someone who pawns SD off on others all the time when it's her time to have her? Does she work? Does she date/bring SD around questionable characters? If you have any evidence that the people she is bringing SD around are really bad, bring it to court. Bring all your documentation to court. My SDs BM doesn't work, didn't feed them properly or get them proper medical help, always sent them over in dirty clothes (she NEVER does laundry), dates bad guys (right now she's dating a "man" with 7 kids by 7 different women and who is a convicted criminal) and bashed their dad and myself to the kids. That's Parental Alienation Syndrome. I don't know if your SD's BM is doing that. You should look up information on it.
As far as child custody, my experience tells me that, for a man to gain custody of his children, the situation that their mother has them in has to be VERY bad. Because the kids were in such danger, we did win custody, but we had to go to court several times to try to get BM to "shape up," and she would only get a slap on the wrist. Finally, the judge got tired of seeing her and her antics and gave us custody.
I hope and pray for your SD and that it will all work out for her.
"Can a man actually win in
"Can a man actually win in the court system?"
Yes.
"No judge would actually pull a child out of preschool to move five hours away, away from all her family other then her BM right?"
Did you mean BD? Judges usually don't like to rip a child's foundation out when they are very young.
"My SD isn't going to hate us for trying to "take her away" from her BM when she is older, right?"
You never know. My DD could hate me for taking away the wiffle ball bat she was using to whip her stepbrother. Kids get mad for all different things.
"The fact that we have a home, the same home we've had for the last year, matters right?"
The fact that you have a home matters, yes. And by home, I mean, place to live.
"My DH has kept the same job for the last 7 years, that shows he's responsible, right?"
I think so.
"The fact that I stay at home and care for my SD in our home matters right?"
Do you guys have kids of your own or do you just not work? So long as the kid is cared for I'm not sure whether SAHstatus helps or not.
Why is he petitioning for full custody?
There are a billion reasons
There are a billion reasons but the first is that she was trying to move again, and this time it would involve driving through a dangerous stretch of highway for 5 hours every weekend. And also because shes in school (kinda) now and we dont want her to have to leave it to be with her mother while shes chasing dick.
Wouldn't they have to drive
Wouldn't they have to drive that 5 hours to visit BM? Or would your H try and limit it to visitation in his home?
They would but with sole
They would but with sole custody me and DH, could limit it to one or two weekends a month and summers. My SD is only three and a five hour drive everyweek is too long for her. (Its 50/50 custody access right now)
Hmmm... I don't know,
Hmmm... I don't know, Thetis. You can never predict what a court will do. If your husband thinks its for the best, he should go for it.
Are you thinking that BM
Are you thinking that BM might get EOW? and not want it since she is such a slut?
I am sure you have good reason to go after sole custody otherwise your attorney would have told you if wasn't worth it.
Umm BM has EOW and has been
Umm BM has EOW and has been handing the child off to her parents as soon as shes picked up (and then stopped picking her up and just started having her parents pick her up.)
Thats just crazy Cruella...
Thats just crazy Cruella... I saw your post the other day about it being Offical. Thats soo good for you. I have to say though, I'm Canadian and things are alittle different here. If I want to adopt my daughter then we have to find her mother and serve her with papers for the court date, if she doesn't show I'd win, if she does, not a chance.
DH has joint custody right now, but we want SD to go to school with us. So we're filing for sole custody hoping that the judge will give us the smaller award of primary custody. SD is already in preschool and loves it. Idk I'll find out tomorrow or the next day what's going to happen.