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Need input, am I wrong?

TheSaneOne's picture

o, we have had the girls since Dec. 16th. We see them during summer and vacations since they live out of state (their mom moved not DH) THey are 7 and 2 1/2. They haven't asked to call mom but she spoke to them on the 23rd and I had them call her Christmas. So, two issues here, she posts a blog that her 7 yo comes home in tears because we won't let her call when she wants to. LIE (Did I mention BM is bipolar?) Well, part of me wants to call her out, the other part tells me to leave it alone because she will just lie and then she will know that I am on her profiles under fake names, getting all this info. Should I confront or continue to copy her soft porn posts and lies?

Second issue, I am potty training the 2 1/2 year old and she's almost completely there. I didn't want to do what her mom was too lazy to do but I am sick of clearing up rashes just to have her returned with a burnt bottom and legs (Thanksgiving we cleared it up in 2 days, she returned on the 16th worse than the last time! Am I wrong for potty training the baby?

Third issue, I don't do stinky diapers I have a week stomach, not sure how I managed with my own three but I gag now, my 14 yo changes their stinkies, LOL, so last night I sent her in to her dad with a stinky and he got mad because I never change them! Hello, I have fed, bathed, bought for, brushed their hair and done everything else they need but because I am in bed asleep and you are playing a video game I am bad for continuing to get him to change her stinkies? It caused a argument last night. His response, sorry, I was being a jerk but I do a lot too you know! Agggh

Early morning vent, with 6 kids, and 2-4 more at all other times its been busy, plus, both sides of the fams came to my home for christmas, the 23rd, 24th, etc.

Have a happy new year guys!

Comments

frustratedinMA's picture

I do think its a good idea that you potty train the 2 1/2 yr old.. Somebody has too.. and if your are kind enough to do that for the child, that is great. I hope the bm follows through on what you have taught her. My DH and I have taught his kids how to ice skate and ride bikes, all things the BM was too lazy to teach the kids.. oh.. and she doesnt take them to do any of those, even though we did the hard part.

Oh.. I agree on the stinky diaper... his child.. stinky diaper should be his problem.. ESPECIALLY if you were sleeping.. and he is playing a lousy video game. (hate those things)

Colorado Girl's picture

stop reading her blogs. I say this because you are going to literally drive yourself CRAZY. If I knew all the things BM told her personal friends about DH or myself, I would probably knock the crooked smile off her face. I actually became friends with one of her old friends who quit talking to her (long story) and she told me a slew of bs and lies that BM had said. She also told me that she knew how BM is and didn't believe a word she said. So my point is who cares if she's lying about you to people? Anybody that you would care about their opinion won't be listening to what she has to say anyways. Not only that, if you confront her...you might look like the crazy one for reading her blogs.

I personally wouldn't want to know what BM is saying about me because I know from experience that it won't be very flattering to me or DH. If she's telling a story about DH or me, it will be her jaded version that will have her looking like a complete victim. No matter what I ever say to her will ever change that fact and she will continue this pattern until she changes something in herself. SO what I don't know will not hurt me, so I just don't care to know what she says. And that's exactly what I tell people when they try to tell me some fable that's she's relayed to them.

Quit torturing yourself.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

TheSaneOne's picture

Mainly I read the blogs for the stuff she posts, such as her husband beating her, threatening suicide, etc. I have one where she admitted she was considering letting the girls live here due to her situation. I hope very soon to be able to compile a case against her. I tried the friend thing first but I blew up on her when she got mad because I didn't tell her I was getting married that day and that ended that.

Colorado Girl's picture

if you think the kids are in danger. I know EXACTLY what you are going through. BM in my case is bipolar and will twist just about anything to make me (and DH) look bad. She has this habit of exaggerating every mistake DH makes and blowing it out of proportion, like not putting lotion on the youngest SD that has excema and stating that SD was bleeding because she was scratching it so much.(She wasn't bleeding and DH forgot ONE friggin' morning) Now mind you, one day of forgetting to lotion her up can't compare to the whole week that BM didn't put it on. She felt like an alligator the day DH picked her up and she went back to BMs two days later. Yet there she was telling the doctor that DH NEVER puts lotion on her. (Her two favorite words are ALWAYS and NEVER)

Now, if I had never heard that story....I would not feel the need to rip her face off. I know that she needs to put him down in order to make herself better and no matter how much I have tried to convince her otherwise, she is NEVER going to change.

I was just suggesting to you that you might save yourself the frustration if you didn't read her blogs. That's all.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

TheSaneOne's picture

Trust me I hate it. Some days it gets the best of me. WHen we met half way to get the girls this time, she had picked up a man she never met off the internet in another part of the state and met us, just so she would have yet another man to "show". She re-married this year, before us, cheated and now they are also separated. We go a long time without seeing the girls because they are in school. Is your birth mom also narcissistic? That seems to come with the territory with her. Anything for attention, even if it is negative. She used to email daily until he made her email our joint account.
See, New Year, I have got to try to let this go!