If it's so bad, just leave!

All the time my gf comes home and tells me about the crazy crap she reads on here. If it's so bad why don't you just leave?

My gf is great with my kids, and I would never let them or their mother treat her like dirt. If your man does, he's not a man. He's a puss. So instead of whining about what a puss he is, how about you all just check out and find a real man?

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If only it were that easy for

If only it were that easy for some of us...Read a couple posts and you'll see there's a lot more involved.

Though I'm sure if you're as good as you say, a couple of us may want your email to give to our SOs for a reality check.

Wish it were as easy as you

Wish it were as easy as you seem to think it is....

Wow! What are you so angry

Wow! What are you so angry about?
Maybe the fact that your gf came to this site at all should be a clue that not everything is perfect in her life.

LOL. I actually understand

LOL. I actually understand where you are coming from. Bless my DH's heart in the fact that he never let SS be ugly to me.

So is the GF a poster? Why is she reading this site if your life is so hunky dory?
++++++++++++++
Edit to add...if this guy does not respond,,,he is just a troll and I will not participate.

Lol... I just realized that

Lol... I just realized that catch. Why IS she reading if it's as awesome as he says? Unless she's doing this to prevent things or sees some preliminary signs.

My SO has only gotten angry at me ONCE, and this was at the very beginning of our relationship because HE was afraid it would make realize how bad it could be and leave. When I told him this is for prevention, he understood.

Are things perfect? No, but I know they're going a lot more smoothly BECAUSE I have StepTalk.

Bingo!

Woah, okay. I sound like your

Woah, okay. I sound like your GF then because I send articles and tell my SO about what goes on here all the time, precisely so we (as in "he") doesn't make the same mistake.

Yeah, for a lot of people it's bad, but please remember this is a site for VENTING so we only hear about the bad sides about everyone's significant others, and few about the good.

Not everyone's Significant Other is as strong as you are when dealing with their exes, and you should be proud you won't let them or their mother treat her like dirt--but many people are not as lucky as your GF. It doesn't make them bad people, and they have qualities that these wives and girlfriends still LOVE, so it's not as simple as "I'm leaving."

I'm lucky my SO both supports me, stands up for me, AND praises me for reading ST and teaching him about it--people don't become great parents out of nowhere, they have to learn it from somewhere. This, because our situation is so similar to a lot of people's on here (namely, crazy bio-mother) is why I am here, is why my SO thinks it's great this exists (and these situations scare him so much he doesn't ever want to have these things happen to us.)

It's like saying, my mom is horrendously annoying and is married to a pothead, she doesn't stick up for me when he insults me, so I don't think of her as my mom anymore.

Bingo part II!

High Five!! hahahahaha

I never said it was easy, but

I never said it was easy, but what's worth it never is.

My gf comes here because she wants to know more what it's like to be a stepmom. She read some books and stuff, but she likes this more because she can talk to other women. She talks to me, but I can only give her my point of view.

Aut, one of our long-time

Aut, one of our long-time posters here has an eBook on Amazon your girlfriend might be interested in... }:)

My husband does stand up for

My husband does stand up for me. That doesn't mean there aren't issues. Even if a situation were filled with people who were 100% great - DH, BM and the kids, the SM or SD might still have feelings to vent here because the reality is there will be some adjustments on all parts.

Yes, it requires effort and

Yes, it requires effort and these women are sticking it through HOPING their significant others will change because they think he is worth it. Does that mean they stay and get abused and keep their mouths shut? No, it means BOTH partners work it out. It's kind of hard when one partner doesn't want to or turns a blind eye when you try to bring it up, or is convinced it's one happy family when it's not and will not take no for an answer.

Here is an idea of what some of these stepmoms are dealing with, and yes, they give us the day-to-day life stuff and not the overall general idea--books can only give you so much, interacting with real people who can give you in depth information on a specific topic/situation is priceless. They show us what we can be signing up for if it goes bad and maybe how to prevent it.

-Husband/Boyfriend will say "kids will be kids" to behavior that shouldn't happen.
-Husband/Boyfriend will expect the Wife/GF to take care of all the needs and wants of the children, but allow her no power over the discipline for fear of upsetting the kids. He won't punish/follow through with the disciplining if she steps back and allows the children to run amok.
-Husband/Boyfriend will think he knows everything about being a parent (if) because Wife/GF doesn't have children of her own and suppress her opinions if she chooses to give them.
-Husband/Boyfriend will refuse to discuss the children's bad behavior or defend them when Wife/GF try to bring something up.
-Husband/BF will bend over backwards and refuse to set boundaries with his ex and kids even if it's beginning to ruin the relationship and he's neglecting his GF/Spouse because "his kids come first."

All of these are unhealthy signs which we are taught to look for instead of just stewing and "taking" it. I would take this site as a valuable learning opportunity for how a blended family can go bad, and see what you can do to prevent it.

OMG.. I wish this stupid

OMG.. I wish this stupid full-moon would be gone already! I have had the week from hell at work and now the crazies are here too!

ha ha ha! Actually more and

ha ha ha! Actually more and more (non-Ragesque) biodads are joining this site and it appears they are teaming up with the troller BMs!!

Hey ladies, I said my piece

Hey ladies, I said my piece and I've made my peace. I don't need to defend my relationship to anyone. The only opinion I care about it hers, and I've seen what she's got to say here and heard it at home. Out.

BOY - he really told US,

BOY - he really told US, didn't he?? }:)

(whipping out my crystal

(whipping out my crystal ball)

I predict phoneman's GF will soon be changing her screen name here and frequenting this site in private from now on.

Or maybe she'll get REAL

Or maybe she'll get REAL smart and LEAVE his sorry ass!

Foot, meet mouth. If your gf

Foot, meet mouth.

If your gf is so great, why isn't she your wife? And if life is so rosy for her, why is she online looking at stepparenting support sites?

Maybe you need to extract head from ass and look around at home before you worry about what we are up to around here.

I just... kind of feel bad

I just... kind of feel bad for him.

Part of my sympathy is maybe he wanted to help us and give us the most obvious solution to the problems we face? If everyone followed his advice... his GF would probably leave too.

And part of it is that he thinks he knows... but he doesn't. Eh.

LOL!! Thanks Draco!!

This is funny. Needed the

This is funny. Needed the laugh guys!!

He has no clue what she had to put into a search engine to find this site. Trust me, I found this site when things were so bad and I was questioning everything I did. DH had no clue what to do about blending us. The site was a god-send...

I am sure he thinks everything he is doing is perfect and life is great at their house....Really? If so, I have some Real Estate you may be interested in...

OR...the gf is new-and new to

OR...the gf is new-and new to the step hell...and hence in honeymoon/bonding stage still feels appalled at what she reads (queue when i arrived lol)....but hey, slowly but surely she will need this site like we need water to survive lol. Hopefully then she will follow his advice.

OP...how long have you guys been dating? What's your situation, is bm involved, ages and gender of kids, how involved are you both w/your kids, how many days, is your ex a crazy or normal ex? Etc etc....lots to fill in the gaps. Dont' come on here throwing flames w/out even tryign to see whats going on for the posters here...

OK damn maybe I just fed the troll huh?

oh yeah, the "doormat" stage.

oh yeah, the "doormat" stage. Willing to be a doormat b/c one is soooooooooo in loooooooove!

"queue when i arrived lol"

A translation of the OP if I

A translation of the OP if I may be so bold -

"Hey you bitches! Stop filling my GF's head with this nonsense. She has been rather mouthy recently and the quality of my sandwiches has suffered. And for some crazy reason she has taken to hanging out in rooms other than the kitchen and the bedroom! Damned uppity women....."

OMG this made me DIE.

For the love of humanity....

For the love of humanity.... NOT HIS SANDWICHES!!!

OMG I never want this to

OMG I never want this to end!!! hahahahahaa

Do you even hear yourselves?

Do you even hear yourselves? I wasn't trying to start a whole war.

I know I'm not so great with words, but damn. Sorry if my answers aren't complicated, but you guys makes this shit too complicated. I am not perfect and I don't know everything, but I know if someone is treating me wrong I'd hit the road.

I don't mean there aren't problems in every relationship. We have our stuff too. But no one treats my gf like she's less because I have kids and an ex. I don't stand by that and no one should. I don't know why some women put up with that shit when they have two legs to walk them out the door.

You're right, I don't read all your problems. I am going off what she tells me. And yea, if I was a jerk like some guys, I hope someone would tell her to leave my sorry ass. I told you, gf likes it here, so I'm not saying this is all bad or everyone should not deal with the small fry. I just mean for all you with shit for brains guys who don't respect you, I'd say put up or shut up and just leave. Maybe that's not complicated, but it's what I'd do.

So, how many kids does your

So, how many kids does your GF have? Have to deal with any flack from them? Put up with her baby daddy at all? He trying to break you two up at all?

"I am not perfect and I don't

"I am not perfect and I don't know everything, but I know if someone is treating me wrong I'd hit the road."

" I don't know why some women put up with that shit when they have two legs to walk them out the door."
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I'm not going to say it's simple to just walk, but I agree wholeheartedly that each of us is responsible for our path in life. We are the ones accountable for making sure our needs are met. We are the ones accountable for making sure we get the respect we deserve & as difficult as it can be...or not...for taking it upon ourselves to walk when it isn't there.

It really seems like all yall

It really seems like all yall want to do is fight. I don't know who pissed in your cereal, but all I said was if someone treats you wrong then leave. Why that's driving some of you insane, don't know. Why all some of you want to do is harp on me and my gf, I don't know. I didn't say I was great or perfect, just that I don't treat people, especially gf, like crap. Why this is making you all question me, I don't know. I don't think any of that is way out there. If I were calling you all bitches and hos, then I'd see why you're so pissed, but all I said was leave if a guy treats you like shit. Kids are not an excuse to treat people like shit. Damn.

LOLIES DRACO!

lol. Fun. I find this odd,

lol. Fun. I find this odd, and slightly controlling, and it sounds to me that this 'man' is threatened by the fact that his GF, who he would LIKE to believe is happy, and everything is wonderful knows how to use a computer, and found solace in a site for LIKE MINDED AND SITUATIONAL PEOPLE to give advice and support to. So threatened that he felt the need to come on here, and advise all of us to LEAVE OUR HUSBANDS/SO's.

Seriously?! I may be unhappy some of the time, but I made marriage vows. So thanks, I'll be keeping those rather than listening to the oh so wise phoneman.

BTW, I wonder who he is on the phone with all the time? I place my money on the BM, which is why the GF might be on here.