This is my first time writing on here(obviously). And I just don't know where else to turn... I like to think I am still young (25) and I have been with DH for 5 years. And during that time, I met him through friends and met his son who was 3.

Years later I tried to stay out of the mix of all the drama between him and the BM she cheated on him with a friend of theirs while married and got pregnant by him. Which is why they divorced.

I was out in the step mother position of dropping SS off at daycare and then when he started school. BM didn't like me from the start, she has a lot of insecurities and bitterness from their past together. And I understand that it's hard when you see someone else work out because then it shows you that maybe you were the problem. (given I think it takes two people in the problems leading to divorce)

She has this control issue with SS and only wanted my DH to drop him off when he couldn't because he would be working where my schedule was different. She would find any reason to text DH and even texted me about how they used to be intimate in bed. Which I was just disgusted. But it showed her age. She is younger than me by two years. And my DH is 26.

So with CPS reports, counceling, mediation, stalking, and enough police reports to fill a book.

SS is now 6 and he has a Sister by BM and the same guy she cheated on DH with. Which is now SD. And their pregnant again.
Me and DH have a son now who is an infant.

She moved further than she was suppose to So we moved closer to get back our time. (we have extended possession). Because of we didn't we would not be able to take him to school. We still are two hours away but close to DH family.

School was a disaster, BM told them I wasn't allowed up there, and refused to put me on the information. But SD was on it and DH. But she wrote DH didnt have a home! and took SS6 several times during our pickup from the school and while I was pregnant she ran up behind me and ripped him from my hands! During our possession.

I'd send him to school in clothes SD and BM would go to the school and exchange them for something cheap.

So to top it off she would only contact DH or his family to drop off SS when my DH told BM he was at work out of town and to drop him off with me and she just wouldn't. So DH got into it with his family because he told them not to meddle in our business that she needs to go by the divorce orders.

So we were forced to have only my phone for contact and emergencies. And BM went to my DH family and created all these stories that she loves SS and DH that is ALL me. I'm just an awful SM who wants to control everything.

I have tried being nice I have given her our weekends when DH wasn't home, because I do believe that kids should be with their parents. But every time I would ask if she could switch a weekend where DH was home she would just take our weekend and wouldn't let DH see his son. Which doesn't surprise me. I mean she hasnt changed in the five years I've know her. There is no compermising or pleasant conversations with her I can be the nicest person and she would somehow turn it into some kind of drama.

But I am forced into this position that I don't want to be in, I want to focuse on our son (DH and I) but I have too much responsibility to SS6 he is so needy and I get that but he is also very... Slow... Because he doesnt have a stable environment. SD tried fighting DH Infront of him. He sees BM following me when I pick him up from school. He has two speedster house rules, ours is use manners and to do chores( clean room, know how to bathe yourself- because honestly I don't think it's appropriate I help him wash) but at his BM he apparently can jump on furniture and respond with "yea" and "ok" instead of yes ma'am and no sir. Please and thank you. I am not asking for much, I would like for him to know what a dishwasher is and know that dishes go in it and that a washer is what clothes go in. I literally had to write the names on them so he could remember. Sometimes I wonder if he is just being defiant. He acts more like them because he is around them more, and they act ghetto. BM is on Wellfare so he doesn't understand that you can't stock up on junk food. They are ghetto and he uses terms like that and calling police officers po po's and saying its okay. And I have to correct him that it's disrespectful to say that. He wants to wear a chain necklace and play call of duty which I don't understand how she will let him play call of dirty but she does t want him watch FamilyGuy. He has watched porn at her house because he was up late and she said "oohh I didn't know he was up... Oops" so he has acted out a sex and I was mortified (yes this was a CPS case and they just said well.,,, be more careful next time) he has told DH family that BM brother has touched him while in bed and it was investigated but thrown out I guess because BM said we lied and SS was too young for them to decide if it were true. So BM had brother move out so the case could be dropped. Same thing with the CPS case she moved and it was dropped.

Oh and BM tells him I'm mean to her and that I don't like her. Then tries telling him I am mean to him. Yes, I am soo mean cleaning, doing laundry, working making dinner and helping with homework. I'm just evil. I don't spank I don't believe in it. I think taking away his DS or Wii is just enough. I don't do anything with SS without running it by DH first. After all it's his son. Not mine.

So you should know as in many relationships there have been times where BM and SS have had been issues in our relationship. And we've always managed to work it out and move forward.

But now BM has upped our CS and we can't afford to pay for everything for SS6 in her house and ours. And before when I was working I didn't have a baby to take care of. And now I plan on going back to work. So I've told DH I can't drive to pick up and drop off SS6 anymore like before and I Would like to move closer to my family for support with our baby when he is gone for weeks on in. But when we do move away we will only get SS standard possession so four days out of the month basically and DH will probably be home one weekend out of those days. So for how much were spending in CS doesn't even out how much we see him. So we'll basically be giving BM money for a kid we don't even get to have anything to do with.

I mean right now I told DH SS is not going to choose between parents and I know one day he hopes that happens but it isnt. I would never choose if I were in that position. He has two parents telling him they love him and BM is a stay at home mom so she is always with him where as SD is working. Where in or house DH is always gone working and I am the one taking care of the kids and I am his SM. so of course he is not going to want to be around me when he could be around his mom or dad.

And DH couldnt even get a job where he is home everyday becaus he would have to match CS he took a lower position to be home more now but the child support office said they couldnt change it. Which now were out even more money.

We're struggling and I told DH I can't do it anymore, I am sorry I have been there through thick and thin but we didn't anticipate on having a baby and I have to think of him. I don't want him growing up around this drama and I don't think it's fair my whole family suffers because BM can't afford her son and Expects us to!

So BM and SD was mad because they let SS go with DH family for four days during her week and when she got him he was already three hours late to meeting me. I text her and told her that I have a baby that it was really inconsiderate. She said well I said I was going to be late. I explained a time estimate would have been better. That I have a baby and we've been waiting for three hours. Finally when I get SS6 for our summer possession (30 days) he is in tears!!!! And I ask him why was he crying he said because he didn't get to spend a lot of time with his mom. (lord knows what she told him) I said well didn't your mama let you go to the beach? And he said yes. I responded with well maybe she should t have let you go to the beach if you were going to miss her so much. But now it's daddy's time. And so later I get a text from BM phone saying it was SD calling me stupid that SS didn't want to go with me. I explained that it's not really his choice. And that he would t have been so upset if she would have spend time with him, (I didn't tell him to go to the beach with DH family! Being the adult you have to understand what your kids can handle and what they can't). He is going through an emotional time but he needs to understand that he has to spend time at both houses. And if he doesnt want to spend time at our house anymore he needs to let us know. He says no and cries that he doesn't want that. But BM is having him call SD daddy!!!! And SS thinks its okay because his mommy is telling him it's okay. Now I have to explain that mommy and daddy are special names for your PARENTS and if you call anyone else that it upsets your parents.

Ugh... So I explain to BM that this is our time and we pay CS to support him we should be able to have our legal time with him. (btw we pay medical dental and BM is suppose to cover half the bills but doesnt). And she responded you sure do b**** a lot about CS. (okay I gave her some days also because she uses DH CS money to put SS in baseball but doesnt inform us until a month into it and we dont have the gas money to drive him 2/3 hours away to a baseball game that isn't in our town)

I explained well our Attorney suggest we go strictly by the divorce papers. since we pay child support.

She insist that if DH gave up rights she would let SS see him whenever he wanted to. And that there would be no more CS.

I highly doubt she would allow SS to see DH because SS told him BM put his last name as DH last name on their Christmas tree and when he tried to correct her she ignored him. And she can't even exchange a weekend without just taking ours... She hasn't really proved her word on anything. I told SD I didn't have to respond to his ignorance just to make myself feel better. And he said "about time"- wow you just agreed you're ignorant. He has been in prison so his IQ is not very high. He said let us catch us some off days(I kid you not) and talk about some sh*t I said great call our attorney he is a mediator. Of course I am not holding my breath on that!

So now I am just tired of dealing with it all. It's all childish none sense and I told my DH that I am moving closer to my family that I am putting our baby in daycare to work and finishing my college degree. I will not have time to pick up and drop off SS or to deal with anymore nonesense from BM. I am not going to tell them where I live, and I am changing my number. You need to decide what you are going to do.

I guess what I'm Just looking for support.... I feel like I am being mean to my DH. But I've reached my limit. I can't handle anymore I'm about to become a psycho and start knocking people out and taking names later, bitter and unhappy. I am sick of his family always making me out to be the good guy one second and the bad guy the next.

I've heard how I am so wrong if DH gives up rights. But honestly if God wanted SS to be in our lives wouldnt be make it so? Sometimes you just have to love people from a distance and pray for the best. We already don't have any say so in SS life as it is.

~You Can't Fix Crazy~