I first have to say THANK GOD for this site. This is the first time I truly feel like I can say what is on my mind and not worry about being judged for it.

I am married for 8 years now to DH. Together, we have five kids but my older two and his oldest daughter have never lived with us full time. In fact, they are all now eight hours away. The younger kids, SS 17 & SD 14, live with us full time. BM died 11 years ago. After BM died, DH & almost every other relative felt so sorry for SS that they gave him whatever he wanted. All they did was create a monster. Ever since I got here, he had made my life hell because I haven't given him his way 100% of the time. I'm the mean horrible SM that tried to make him follow rules and show people respect. For the most part, it didn't work and DH hasn't been much help. Now instead of feeling sorry for SS because of his mother dying, he feels sorry for him because I have not been the loving, nurturing SM to his son. For starters, his son never wanted that. He has looked at me like he wishes I would drop dead since he is 7 years old. He just wants what he wants. He has his dad wrapped around his finger and his dad refused to see his son for the manipulative monster he is. When they were younger, he would get mad and physically hurt his sister or threaten to if she was the least bit nice to me. DH has been in complete denial for years.

In the last few days, it has been brought to my attention that DH has lied to me numerous times over the years to "try to keep the peace." More or less, I had one opinion, he & SS had another opinion so he told me whatever he had to tell me to shut me up and make me think he supported me when in reality, he let SS get what he wanted in the end.

I've told DH that it was not a good idea and downright was against SS playing violent video games but DH doesn't see anything wrong with it. He's let him play those games since he is five years old.

SS is a junior in HS. He has never taken school seriously. He has always gotten in trouble. He is not on track to graduate because he has less than a 2.0 GPA. He stole my DH's older car this summer and ran it into a ditch. He punched a hole in the wall of his bedroom this summer as well. But somehow, it's all my fault. I just don't know how much more I can take.

I am now telling DH that it's his kids, his rules and not to ask my opinion about a damn thing when it comes to them because he obviously doesn't want to hear it. The bad part is that I asked DH the other day that if something goes wrong in SK's lives 10 years from now, will he blame me for that too? He actually had to think about it and then said that it would depend on the situation. So I'm just damned no matter what???? I started having blood pressure issues earlier this year and I honestly think it's my house that is stressing me out. Any ideas, thoughts???