Help Please. I chose a blog in order to give details about my problem. My husband and I have been married for 17 years. He has two children, now 24(d) and 23(s) years old. They were 3 and 4 when we married. His ex remarried a year after their divorce. Anyways, the problems started when the daughter at 14 yoa, began to refuse to come for the week-end visits, wanting to spend time with friends, etc. No problem, she was not forced to visit, was told she could come when she wanted. Things were fine. She got engaged at and during the wedding planning stage, she had told her Dad and me that all parents would be involved in the ceremony. He Dad walking her down the isle, me and her mother, would light a candle together.
All was good, until the night before at the wedding rehearsal. During the line up, I was waiting to be seated, and overheard several comments between SD and her mother. Mother asking SD, are you sure, SD, yes, I'm sure. Long story short, I read between the lines, I was not going to be participating in the ceremony, and my husband and the step father was walking her down the isle. We had not been told about any of the changes.
I admit, I was hurt, but was not going to make a scene. This was her wedding. I told her Dad about what I had overheard, thinking he should know that both, he and the step-father would walking her down the isle.
He decided to ask his daughter about the changes. She denied having said I would light a candle with her mother, and just decided that her step-father would also walk her down the isle. Her father did not have a problem with her decision about the step-father and told her that. He did tell her she should have told us about the changes, and not let me guess that I was not included. She denied ever saying I was suppose to do anything in her wedding. Things got nasty, and she told her Dad he was not invited to the wedding. It got uglier in the next hour, with the step-daughter coming to me saying how I have always ruined her life. Not letting her have money for her eyes, not paying for her prom dress, etc. Everything involved money. She was suppose to be apologizing to me. I just let all this slide and told her not to worry about me ruining her life or her wedding. Needless to say, neither of us attended the wedding.
He dad and she have talked on the phone, and he told her when she admits she lied and apologizes, and means it, hurt feelings will heal. I have not spoken to her since the night before her wedding. She and her Dad, have a phone relationship, but not much else.
Recently, she called saying she was pregnant. She also told him she had a lot of apologizing to do. This was about 8 weeks ago. Since saying this, my husband's birthday came and went, Father's Day, came and went. Not a word, phone call, or face book comment to her Dad.
About 2 weeks ago she post on her FB page, she can't understand how a parent(s) could choose someone or something over their own child.
I have encouraged my husband to make amends with his daughter over the past 2 years, but I am getting tired of her hurting him. I want to just scream at her, but realize this is not an answer to the problem. Any help on any of this would be appreciated.