Going to try to be on my best behaviour this weekend
Ok so for the last 5 or 6 times sd5 has come round for the weekend there's been an argument...mainly due to me feeling left out and generally being over sensitive. It's got to the point where I dread sd5 coming because I know there's going to be an argument. She's coming round sat night and leaving sunday night...im going to try really hard not to over-react and try to have an argument-free weekend for a change!
I have a bit of a time issue with bf...we dont get much time together as it is so I resented SD for taking even more time away from us on the weekends that she's here...ive now realised that all that has done is ruined everyones weekend. Instead we should ALL be doing things TOGETHER that everyone enjoys, that way she gets a good time with her dad and i get a nice time with my bf. Ive come to realise it's not a competition over who gets the most time with who...this is 3 peoples lives here so we all need to try to make the most of the time we have.
It all sounds so easy trying not to argue for 24hours but I know it's going to be difficult. I just feel if we manage not to argue for one weekend then it gives me a bit of hope that things can be good when she's here.
Wish me luck!
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well i know how you feel but
well i know how you feel but here is how i got over it---offer the suggestion that he and her have daddy-daughter time for about an hour or two where they go do something like have an icecream or something and use that time to relax. then offer ideas to do projects or games as a FAMILY. but always make sure you end the evening w/ a movie or book as a FAMILY before her bedtime. hope this helps. it takes time don't look for immediate fix you'll be fine
That is awesome! I hope it
That is awesome! I hope it really works for you. I remember when I felt those little twinges of…I guess jealousy over the skid. Just count yourself VERY lucky if it is just for the weekends. It could be full time. Lol
I used to be strung out on the weekends that SS was here. I can’t believe that. Oh how I would love to go back to JUST weekend!!
GOOD LUCK!!
"I have a bit of a time issue
"I have a bit of a time issue with bf...we dont get much time together as it is so I resented SD for taking even more time away from us on the weekends that she's here...ive now realised that all that has done is ruined everyones weekend."
Ok, from your post, I'm guessing you and your BF don't live together but only see each other on the weekends- and that means when his daughter is there. So this means, in your mind, your time is being taken away because of BFs time with his daughter. Is this correct?
Well, if it is- go directly to the next part of your quote- where the REALIZATION kicks in! Because, yes, the relaity of life is that you are dating a man with a small child. A 5-year-old. And they demand a lot of attention! So either you are going to have to quickly learn to accept that fact for 24 hours, where you are a "3" instead of a "2" and learn to like it (not love it, but at least accept it), and make it work for you, or find a man who does not have a child- because this kid is NOT going away.
But there ARE positives! Movies. Coloring books. Family game night. Interactive DVDs. Long walks in the park (summer is coming up!) There are a lot of fun things to do with little kids, and it's not all drudgery. Little kids can be COOL! But make sure you and your BF have some rules in place for her behavior and treat her with respect and make sure she does the same for you.
If you have a positive outlook instead of dreading it each week, it can be a good thing
Because she's FIVE- that's a LOOOOONG way off until 18 if you plan on sticking around with this man.
Thanks for the advice
Thanks for the advice guys...deep down i know that this is how the situation is and not much is going to change, all I can do is make the most out of it. Although this is easier to say than do!
Rain made me realise that i guess it is only for 24hrs on the weekend and the situation could be a lot worse...SD could hate me, my bf could have full time custody etc
Lol. YAY. I’m glad I could
Lol. YAY. I’m glad I could help. I was with my DH for around 10 years until I THOUGHT the coast was clear and we could get married and live together. I mean, the kid was over 16 and so far up BM’s butt that there would be no way he would want to live with DH and I. And BM LOVED, LOVED , LOVED the control and CS.
Surprise, surprise, surprise. BM up and moves and SS wants to stay here. BM wants SS to stay here. BM rushed SS into our home so fast it was not funny. But I realize now, that it was because she could not control him any longer and wanted DH to straighten him out. That makes me LOL. DH is as bad as she was. I am not used to being around a person like SS. I feel like a stranger in my own home 24/7.
But, HOPEFULLY, I only have one more year left and he goes to the military. YAY.
GOOD LUCK!!
Well you're a better person
Well you're a better person then me because I really dont think I'd be able to deal with my bf having full custody, although at least SD wouldnt have BM's bad attitude so much!
Really relate to what you're saying about being a stranger in your own home...when SD is round I feel like I'm in the way and second best, then as soon as she goes back home everything goes back to 'normal'