Being a victim and using that as an excuse for bad behavior
Step asides blog got me thinking about this. There are people who just love being the victim and using it as an excuse to do unexceptable things. This shit just kills me. I absolutely refuse to feel sorry for these poeple. I am in the process of short selling our money pit of a house what should have been a 5 month process due to yet another screw up on the part of the bank what should have been a 5 month deal is going on 10 months. We made some bad decisions and wer part of what they refer to as a preditory loan. I feel bad about doing this but have viewed it as a good business decision so one day I can have my life back. My husband is bipolar and lazy, leaving most of the work to me in our lives. I have felt like crap for months and ended up in the hospital for 3 days with loss of vision and a head ach that lasted for 6 days. They initaially thought it was a tumor, brain bleed or anyurism and finally diagnoised me with MS. I have a ton of stress in my life and a very busy job.
During all of this I never missed a day of work ( even though I was in a lot of pain and only missed the 3 days I was hospitalized) the home we rent was sparkling clean, we had clean clothes, my 6 year old was well cared for and loved ( i bring him to and from school and do homework with him) my bills were paid.
Sometimes in life things can be tough , but I believe we all just have to power through and keep on going. I think I have enough crappy things in my life that I could sit back and cry that I am a victim woo is me, maybe be a crappy friend, have an affair ( who the hell has time) and treat people like crap and take to my bed. I think for some there being a professional victim is just easier than realizing we need to be the best we can be every day despite what is going on in our lives.
- Sweet T's blog
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Yep, my mom, my sister, and
Yep, my mom, my sister, and GUBM are all perpetual victims. SD is slowly turning into one herself. Awful. Absolutely cannot stand it.
Well, Sweet T, I do hope that
Well, Sweet T, I do hope that since your diagnosis of MS that your lazy husband is more willing to help you out, because if not then UGH! However, I totally understand if you don't want him to over-help.
I'm the kind of person who gets irked if FDH tries to help too much, like, if he treats me like I need help with every last little thing (like carrying a modest bag of groceries in from the car), it ticks me off. I might have numerous chronic illnesses and really bad days but I'm not an invalid.
All I want from my husband is
All I want from my husband is that he does the things he should have done all along. Mow the lawn w/o me having to do it while he sits in his chairs cuz he is tired and his back hurts ( boo fricken whoo) He rides on the riding lawn mower while I use the push that the self propel is broken on when I do it cuz I can't get the rider out of the garage. I want him t o be tidy, clean up after himself & keep his bathroom clean. I clean the rest of the house, do laundry and cook. I also do most of the child related chores like making sure BS takes a bath & does his homework.
The thing I find hilarious is I have to start self injecting myself once a day. I HATE needles and am dreading this. He thinks he is going to do it for me. I am like no fricken way... I will do it myself... what if he is being an ass that day and won't do it or does it so it hurts.
Another side note is when I have told people ( DH has blabbed it on facebook) that I have MS they are all like I am going to end up in a wheel chair or crippled. I always tell them that I don't worry about that because it is NOT going to happen. Where is the power of positive thinking and taking care of yourself! My only real concern is vision related due to what I do for a living. I need to be able to see. I had optic neuritis as a part of this and that has affected my vision, wlathough it is improving and is almost normal.
I HATE HATE HATE people like
I HATE HATE HATE people like that and my Mom is a big one!!!
I went to a counselor just for a few sessions to help me work out some issues I'm having with my bat-shit crazy Mom and that's one of the things that I just can't seem to get over. Why is it that so many of us get up each day, put our big girl panties on and just DEAL with the things life throws at us while others are completely incapable of doing so? And why is it that those of us wearing the big girl panties accepts consequences, accountability, and responsibility for our actions and the incapable others don't......just because they're incapable????? That excuses them???? Ugh ugh ugh. Drives me CRAZY!!!!
My mom was like this. BM is
My mom was like this. BM is probably teaching a class on it. Everything is 'Poor BM, Poor BM.'
fDH tried that shit with me one time. 'Well she's been through so much...'
I said 'Oh. No. You. Didn't.' Let me tell you something about REAL victims dear...they keep their struggles inside because they are too painful to talk about. They do not use them as excuses of personality disorders and shortcomings in their life. BM is a psychopath who seeks attention and sympathy. She's no more a fucking victim than you or me.'
He's never said it since and his light bulb seemed to turn on day.