so is the mom and dad's club exclusively for BMs and BFs...because SD's team mom thinks so....
So I thought it would be nice to sign SD2 (who lives with FH and I 5 days of the week) for summer track. I know she's very young, but they have a 6 and under division where the little kids run about 50 meters (it's really cute to watch). I started running around the same age and I still love it to this day, so I thought that this could be something we share.
FH and I went to meet with the coach and the team mom (coaches wife) and she was soooo friendly and welcoming...until she found out that I was not the BM but the SM...her whole expression changed. I felt horrible. At first we were both exchange mom and kid stories (contrary to popular belief I am a full-time parent so I think that qualifies me entry into the mommy club) and then as soon as she learned I was SDs SM, she kind of acted like I didn't exist. It was really weird. Does this happen often to any other SPs? I was wondering if this is something I should be looking forward to for the next 18 years, or was this lady just a prick?
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Your story reminds me of the
Your story reminds me of the book "The single girls guide to marrying a man, his kids, and his ex-wife"
There are ppl out there who are like this. Who suddenly treat you differently because you're not a BM, therefor you're not part of the "Mommy's Club"
But there are also ppl out there who aren't like this, who welcome you regardless of your title.
So just pay no mind to the one's who are that close minded (you will run across a few), and feel good about those who aren't!
Who's the author of that
Who's the author of that book...it is any good?
I loved it!
I loved it!
http://www.amazon.com/Single-Girls-Guide-Marrying-Ex-Wife/dp/0451214196
It's even worse when BM is
It's even worse when BM is present. Both boys are in activities & our BM LOVES to slip into supermom mode. Some parents are nice to me, others act like I am the dity wh*re that ruined a wonderful marriage, even after 5 years. Two people ruined that crappy marriage & it sure the heck wasn't me. I have always gone to the kids stuff, but this baseball season I have really stepped back and am attending very minimally. I have too much going on & BS is so active that all I do is chase him... I can do that at home w/o BM's BFF the manimal making fun of me.
Happens all the time.
Happens all the time. Especially here where BM lives in the subdivision across the street. Get used to it. There are some really dense people out there.
WHAT?!? That is crazy...our
WHAT?!? That is crazy...our BM is a nut job when it comes to me and FH's relationship and I'm crossing my fingers that she'll have more tact than that. But I am the one who researched the team, signed SD2 up AND paid the fees...I thought I would get better treatment than that. Her first meet is next Thurs, so we'll see how the other parents react then.... It's weird though, because there are A LOT of blended families in the US, but because I'm SM, peole look at me like I have two heads or something!!
Many coaches/teaches/church
Many coaches/teaches/church people/whoever react much the same way as crayon's coach did. You guys have to admit, being in the middle of warring parents- especially when step-parents are jumping into the fray is not an enviable place for an innocent bystander to be.
Most people in the above positions that I know personally have taken an "I will only deal with parents" or "I will only deal with whoever signed kiddo up" in order to keep themselves out of all the drama. Is it always fair? Not at all, but it is the best they can do for themselves.
The best way I can say to combat this- and if one does want to have involvement, is to always be nice and polite and never talk about the other side unless it's good. Anything other than that is likely to get one shut out.
I understand what you're
I understand what you're saying, but I am the one who signed her up....team mom or coaches haven't even met BM yet, only FH and myself. So there was not anyone being caught in the middle of anything. We were having a really nice conversation until she found out I was the SM and then she clammed up and got really distant toward me. It was weird. I am always cordial with BM so that's not the issue...it's being looked at differently because I'm not the BM...a little hurtful.
LOL Crayon- are you
LOL Crayon- are you suggesting a grassroots movement?
I have no doubt BM is saying
I have no doubt BM is saying all sorts of nasty things about me...I'm cordial for the sake of SD2...I don't want her to see the people she loves at each other's throats...somebody has to be the bigger person...BM can dig her own hole..
LOL
LOL
Some people will have their
Some people will have their own biases too- those there's really nothing we can do about. It's sad but they think what they think and it's very rare to change it. Just keep you're chin up and show them you are a good person, give them nothing to complain about- cause if they already have a bias against steps or whoever...they will be more than happy to trash talk the littlest thing all over town.
My SD12 is in cheer. My
My SD12 is in cheer. My husband and I have full custody mother is a druggie. I signed her up for cheer and paid and do all the parent volenteer hours and take her to and from parctice 5 days a week and games on the weekends. her real mother has only been to 1 freaking game ever! At that one game she went to she thought it was necassy to go around and make sure that every parent and coach knew that she was the BM. My SD12 calls me mom...so i can't help what people think.... But I wonder if she realizes how bad it makes her look when she wants everyone to know that she is the BM...they all wonder where she has been all season because I am the one who is there all the time. She just made herself look like the loser she really is.