It's that time of year, so I'll be reviving my Christmas song rewrites...

Nuttin’ for Christmas

Sung to the tune of "Nuttin’ for Christmas"

I punched a hole in every door;
Stepmommy snitched on me.
Poured stripper on the hardwood floor;
Stepmommy snitched on me.
I squished my gum into the rug;
Smashed my Daddy’s favorite mug;
Made my half-brother eat a bug;
Stepmommy snitched on me.

Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
My bio Mommy will blow.
Dad’s broke from paying child support
Stepmommy ain’t sharin’ her dough.

Di’nt feed the hamster now he’s dead
Stepmommy snitched on me.
Hid dirty dishes ‘neath my bed
Stepmommy snitched on me.
I cancelled Dad’s and Stepmom’s cruise
Pooped in my half-sister’s shoes
Had friends in, drank all the booze
Stepmommy snitched on me.

So, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
My bio Mommy will blow.
Dad’s broke from paying child support
Stepmommy ain’t sharin’ her dough.

I won't get a single Christmas gift;
Stepmommy snitched on me.
My bio Mommy’s really miffed
Stepmommy snitched on me.
Next year I'll be going straight;
Next year I'll be good, just wait
I'd start now, but it's too late;
Stepmommy snitched on me.

So you better be good whatever you do
'Cause if you're bad, I'm warning you,
You'll get nuttin' for Christmas!