This was originally going to be a brag blog. BF has been doing an amazing job, setting boundaries and just this last weekend had his daughter begin doing chores, nothing major just some laundry and putting her dishes in the dishwasher. Certainly, nothing too much for a 10yo. He has also told her that if she does get up before us and is hungry, she can make herself a bowl of cereal, no more coming into the bedroom saying hungry until he gets up to make her a full on breakfast. The best part is that I haven’t said a word to BF about any of this he did it all on his own, because as he puts it “he wants her to be able to do for herself once she is an adult”.

Two things happened this weekend in addition to BF setting down rules regarding chores. At one point when his daughter was pouting about it, he told her that she is a big girl now and these are things that a big girl does, he got a huge eye roll, and he told her he wouldn’t tolerate the attitude. The other is apparently when he picked her up on Friday; he was told that he “owed” her ice-cream from a local place. When BF asked why she told him that BM had promised that if she didn’t have any late slips in two weeks, SHE would take her. Because it fell on a weekend he had her, BM told her to tell BF he had to take her. BF, told her that was an agreement between your mom and you. She will take you. On Sunday morning, after I had made everyone breakfast, I asked what the two of them where going to do all day (I work weekends, long hours). SD told me there was one thing that HAD to be done this weekend before she went home. It was the ice cream thing again. I get that she wants her reward, but it was something that was never discussed with BF, he didn’t agree to it. I asked her if BF promised her ice cream, she told me no it was her mom...I see. End of convo, BF did not take her, he told BM it was her promise, she needed to hold up her end of the bargain. The down side of course, BM ends up looking like a saint and BF looks like the bad guy to his daughter.

It seems as though BM is changing, she knows the long multiple text messages aren’t working and that BF will no longer put up with her calling and screaming at him, so she has SD tell him what she wants him to be told. Or my favorite, when she gets an answer she doesn’t like, she texts that his daughter is calling and he better pick up. His daughter then goes on to ask the same things BM was, and BM is not happy when their daughter gets the same answer.

Last night, BF gets a long text about how THEY NEED TO TALK. That he needs to be the fun dad that his daughter will grow up before he knows it, and that he has no business making her do chores. It had plenty in there about only spending time with sunflower and only paying attention to sunflower when his daughter is here. Um, I work all weekend that is simply not the case.

I guess I’m just miffed. BF is a good dad. He wants to teach her values. Then BM turns around and tells him he needs to be a Disney dad. WTF. “You guys should do fun things every weekend and only fun things”…Blah blah blah, so he’s supposed to be a fun uncle and not her dad?

As I said, I’m really proud of BF. I just wish we weren’t damned if we do damned if we don’t.