How hard is it to say Hello?
The stepsons came over for a visit after football practice yesterday.
I was in the kitchen washing dishes and my back awas turned. The boys came in and walked right past me (they saw me!) and didn't say one word!
They plop down in the living room and greet their father. As I was finishing up the dishes I had already decided that I wasn't gonna stick around for this family moment. I go into the living room and grab my pocketbook from the table.
DH says to his precious boys "Did you guys say Hi to Stuknaz?" They both said "Yeah" simulataneoulsy!
I mumble under my breath "lying asses ain't say shit to me!"
I tell Dh " I'll be back later!" and I leave.
Why is it so hard for these boys to address me? I have done nothing to them. But it kills them to acknowledge me?? 
I was gone for about two hours just long enough for them to leave. DH is calling me and tecting me "Where r you at?" I get home and DH is gone! My friends are calling telling me they see DH on this street and on that street! Looking for me!! Yesterday was DH's birthday as well!
Dh finally gets home and asks where were you?
I tell him "I was out and about and you need to check your sons about not speaking to your wife! If you still want to have a wife!"
Dh says "I will speak to them about it!"
I'm still pissed this morning when I should be used to this! They have always treated me like a piece of furniture.
Go to work this morning and before I go DH is gonna ask "Are you gonna come with me to the high school to see my sons first football game?"
WTF? :O
I'm suppose to go to their game and sit there all day (because both of them play) and these little bastards can't even say Hello??
I told DH I gotta work on Saturday(no I don't)
DH says the games start at 2:00 PM!! Now what???
I guess I'm just gonna have to tell him why should I go and cheer them on when I can't get a freakin hello from either one of them?
Would you go??
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Comments
I would not go. If your
I would not go. If your skids don't acknowledge your existence
then why would you want to go and sit and watch their game when your invisible self could be doing something you want to do, while not being disrespected, ignorned and treated with no value. just my opinion
You are right Frustrated
I'm not going!!! Why would I sit on some hard ass bleachers(all day) and they can't say Hi!
Screw them little boys! I'm gonna find something else to do!
BM will be there like she was last year! But I don't care anymore! They ain't my kids! But sometimes you get your feelings hurt even though you already know what t expect from them!
"And this too shall pass..."
I know it does hurt your
I know it does hurt your feeling. I have been there, I hope you find something fun to do this weekend for yourself
I would agree have to say it
I would agree have to say it is rude for anyones step kids to clearly ignore their steps presents that way. I know kids can be that way but they need to be told when they are that is is rude and why so they can stop being a jerk.
Yep
and this isn't the first time! I just don't get it. They are old enought to know better(14 and 16). I guess this is what happens when they have "no home training" as my mother puts it!
"And this too shall pass..."
It's rude
JamaicanMeCrazy
LIVE LOVE LAUGH
for anyone to enter a room and not speak, adult or child, but this seems to be a common problem with most kids today. Still, it irks me to no end when someone doesn't speak, or suddenly goes deaf when they are spoken to first. SD18 will walk in the house and breeze right past DH, me, grandparents and anyone else who might be there and never say a word, unless she wants something then she starts right in without even a hello, how are you, etc. I used to call her "BreIWanna" - a takeoff of her real name.
Another pet peeve of mine is when either SD calls, they never say hello - it's just 'is my dad there?' I'm tempted to ask who their dad is just to be a smartass and make them talk.
SD does this to me as well
And DH refuses to address it. She comes into my house and absolutely will not speak to me, so I don't speak to her either. I think it is rude to walk into someone's house and treat them like they don't exist. And then I get DH mad at ME because I'm not speaking to SD16. Excuse me? She's the child and I'm the adult. It's my house, she should address me. And on the RARE occasions (about twice in the past year) she does speak to me, I reciprocate. But minimally. She was leaving and because DH was in the room SD16 decided it would look good for her to say goodbye to me. So she said, "Bye, SM." And I said "Bye." But DH didn't hear me, so then he was mad at me for not speaking to SD16 when she had made SO much effort. In fact, he actually thinks that as long as SD16 stays in the same room when I enter (she used to exit like a scalded cat), I should throw myself at her feet in gratitude. Um, NOT!
Yep only when they want something
is when they speak to me. Can you take me here, drve me there.. That's okay if they can not speak upon enetering then I can not drive or do jack shyt for them. Ask your mom or your father because as per your mom "You guys are none of my f'n business'
"And this too shall pass..."
That is so RUDE!!!
I wouldn't go, either. Do something fun just for yourself! And I would be honest to your husband about it. Make sure he knows why you're not going.
I have had similar issues in my situation. Last year when former SD11 was still living with us, she would completely ignore me & pretend she didn't hear me when I would speak to her. When she did acknowledge me, she did things that she knew irritated me, such as repeatedly saying "Hi!!!" in an annoying tone, making a stupid face. Arrgg! Just thinking about it makes me want to smack her! And now SD9 has started acting the same way towards me. Very obnoxious.
In my case this is all very interesting because both of these girls used to adore me. Amazing how fast this changed. I blame it on BM PASing them because I certainly haven't done anything differently or given them a reason to suddenly pretend I don't exist.
I know
that BM is playing a HUGE part in this!!
But you would think that they could think for themselves and stiop being brain washed!!
I am not the reason(Even though she says it) they are no longer a couple! I am not the reason Mommy has to struggle to pay her bills!
If anything they should be happy that their Dad is finally happy!
"And this too shall pass..."
crayon, I agree!
From an early age, BM has told the kids what they can & can't do or like. These kids will have an identity crisis when they become adults. They already have no clue as to what they like or dislike. When you ask them a simple question, they can't answer. It's almost like they have to consult BM first!
The form of PAS BM has been using has obviously been badmouthing me, my husband, our families, etc. And probably some guilt, too, maybe telling them that they can't like me if they love her. Something like that. Whatever she did, it definitely worked on former SD11. I'm sure that was fairly easy since former SD11 had long been victim to BM's mind games..."If it wasn't for you, I'd probably be dead or in jail." BM told former SD11 this when she was in 2nd or 3rd grade! We have an old journal with this in former SD11's handwriting. Imagine the impact that statement had on such a young kid -- especially one that's hyper sensitive. As a result, former SD11 has become BM's protector. You can't even hint at BM doing something wrong without this kid immediately defending her. Even when it's obvious that BM is wrong.
I think BM's PAS approach wasn't working on SD9, however, since SD9 is exactly like BM -- completely self-centered. SD9 doesn't care if BM doesn't like us. She doesn't care if BM gets upset because she's not doing what she wants. SD9 does what is in her best interest. Period. So I think this is why BM started bribing her instead -- with kittens, extravagant gifts (a laptop, a mountain bike), exciting trips, promising her everything under the sun. BM **NEVER** did this before. Suddenly, BM is Santa Claus all year? But it's working. SD9 loves the attention & the money that is being spent on her. So therefore BM is better than us. Honestly, I don't care because we can't compete with BM & we don't want to. This isn't a game, despite the way BM thinks it is.
That is frustrating. And to
That is frustrating.
And to have to deal with it with teenagers? Is worse. They should NOT have to be told this.
I would not be mean and vindictive about not going to their game, or driving them or doing things for them.
I would just casually and calmly deny their requests. Have some good quality time doing what you enjoy.
With my SS8 I had to have a little chair talk with him.
(Sit down, I want to talk to you.)This was done with both the wife and I there. After the talk it was done.
He says hi to me he acknowledges me. (Things is right with the world...
I am torn on what I would do.
Weather you both have a talk with them about what you expect in terms of greeting the family when they stop by for a visit, Or both parents call them out, on the bold face lie they did.
I guess both topics need to be dealt with.
Parents are the leaders of the house. and they are the force that can't be broken. Sit down with hubby and get a plan together.
It sucks dealing with a teenager, they want the world and don't have the character to treat the world with respect to get what they want. And parents can't believe they don't understand what it takes to get what you want in this world.