I live with (common law) a woman and have lived with her and her BS , 13 year old son for nine years. We have an 8 yr old daughter together. For years I have watched the BM spoil her son ..she says she protects him beause I am always on his case, nagging him and "yelling" at him....she admits a lot of it is to do with the guilt of separating him from his father. I don't ask for much. He pretty much has taken over our one t.v. room, a den in the basement...I don't watch a lot of t.v. so for the most part have let it go..all I ask is he cleans ups his mess..this has never happened...he opens popsicles, pops, pizza cartons , candies what ever and always leaves the wrappers on the table..they are left there for days and stuck to the table..when I do decide to go watch the 11:00 news I have to move all of his stuff off the couch just to sit down..then I have to look at the mess..I have even gone so far as putting a garbage pail beside teh couch within arms reach of him and he still can't throw out his garbage...it's the same for everything...he leaves a trail behind him and either his mom or mother in law go behind him and pick it up...not only do I not want to have to live with a pig, I am trying to teach him some sort ot rules, independence, structure....but it all goes out the window....he always wants to make home made pizza but when he does, he cooks, then walks aways leaving a trail of pizza sauce cans, wrappers, dirty dishes and piles of cheese etc.on the counter...he wants all the glory from creating a pizza but doesn't want to do the hard part and clean up..so tonight I asked him to clean up....it's like talking to a wall so I started telling him what I meant be cleaning up...you have to spell things out for him..like put the spices back etc..before I could even start his mother was all over me telling me not to nit pick..and just leave him alone and not to hover.....there are too many examples to list but that's the gist of it...I don't come from a lot of money but we are doing okay financillay...but he always wants the best of everything...he asked his mom for a new $ 500 electirc guitar ONE MONTH after christmas....I didn't think it was right but she says he has wanted it for months ..I asked why he didn't ask for it for x-mas but she said he did but she didn;t have time to get it...so he got completely spoiled and everything he wanted fo x-mas..new ITOUCH..etc..etc...and now is still getting the new guitar......I have been asking for months that he does ONE chore around teh house..and that is when he comes from school, check to see if garbage, compost or recycling needs to be taken out....WITHOUT being asked to do it....it would take him most ten minutes..it's never happened..I ask him ONCE a week to help me take out the garbage and that is always a fight...tonight he said he can't because he has homework....his mom ended up making him do it but just ONCE it would be nice to get it done without starting a fight......I love my daughter so much I don;t want her to grow up without a father (I mean living with her, no matter what I would never be far)...but I don't know if I can go on like this.we've tried counselling, the "united front" which lasts a day or two and the she is right back to over protecting him and letting him away with murder.....tonight I asked him one thing, coud he take his cup up when he goes to bed..ten minutes later he goes to bed and his cup is still sitting there..this may sound anal but it's the principal..he wants EVERYTHING ..anf gets everything but can't do small thing like a daily chore or even clean up after himself....we have our moments when we ski or play guitar or wrestle, we have a few laughs..I want to like him, but I think I hate him (even though most of his ways are a result of his mother not parenting)...I don't know if it would be selfish of me to leave (for my daughter I mean) or am I entitled to some sanity..we have some good days but I would say 5 out of 7 we are fighting over her son....I also fear I would be alone and regret leaving..I am outgoing and make friends quickly I just don't know if I should let him get to me to the point of moving out...my partner is an attractive girl and we get along great when we are alone...we just can't seem to live under the same roof as her son......

Any advice ?????
Any one been in this situation and left.....if so, are you happy you did or regret it.

Thanks,

End of my rope.