And the last time I read the stats a 2nd marriage with SK's involved has a 30% chance of not ending in divorce. Crappy odds.

Me and DH are in the 30 though....I refuse to believe anything but. We made a promise to one another early in the marriage to never ever say divorce to one another. No matter what, the word divorce is not an option. We are bound for the rest of our lives and will not ever consider any other option. We may have to shuffle our emotions around, or change some for one another, but divorce will not be happening!

~All you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust~

Although the stat I saw was, 2/3 of remarriages end in divorce. I don't know how they define "remarriages" - i.e, whether both people have to be remarrying or just one, etc.

These are pretty crappy odds. I've noticed that there have been a lot of breakups here lately, too. Just a lot of problems coming to a head -- don't know if it's a coincidence or not. But I do think that people gather strength from this site, and maybe if one person sees his/her situation as very similar to another one on ST who has recently gotten fed up and decided to move on, it might inspire them to do the same. I feel like people often stay in bad relationships much longer than they should, so I'm inclined to view this as positive.

Some could say that my attitude is flawed -- that if you get married, it's for better or for worse. And I agree with that. However, I think that: 1) up until you are married, your job is to take care of yourself and your life first, and see whether the other person's life and personality are a good fit with yours; and 2) once you are married, BOTH of you have the responsibility to commit to making it work in good times and in bad. If one of the partners has essentially emotionally abandoned the marriage (cheating, making the spouse the lowest priority in their lives, belittling the spouse's need for well-being, etc.) then in my view, the contract has been broken and it's time to walk.

Quoting Rags: "Just my opinion, of course."

BB

- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)

I found a statistic that 62% of second marriages fail. However, 47% of first marriages fail...so even though second marriages and marriages with steps have a higher failure rate, I think marriage in general is going down the drain in our society and has been for quite some time.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

statistics include all 2nd marriages for either party, even if its the 1st marriage for one spouse, if its the 2nd or more for the other, that marriage is in the "remarriage" statistic, which is 75% end in divorce. First marriages is 50%. These statistics are tricky though because of the way they are calculated. Its based on the number of "remarriage" marriage certificates and the number of divorce filings of "remarriages" in the same year. Until I actually WAS remarried myself, I never understood why a 2nd marriage would have worse odds, I thought it should get better since people would have learned from their mistakes. But I learned about the lovely world of stepparenting and blending families, and now I understand completely!

"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"