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OT - a story about my bro and his gf and son

sterlingsilver's picture

I had a talk with my oldest Brother yesterday. I have 5 brothers and so I don't often get to chat with each of them long or in depth. Anyhow he was telling me how when his second gf was living with them she kicked out his son and that was it for him, he didn't love her anymore. Just a bit of history, She had her daughter living there who was at the time 8, his son (my nephew) lived with them and was 12, and they had a 1 yr old daughter together. Ok so his son12 apparently beat on the 8 yr old gf's daughter one day when my bro was on a week long trucking trip (he was a long haul trucker so you can imagine how it was for the gf taking care of his brat son12 for him like this all alone). The gf kicked his son out of the house and sent him back to the bm. My bro got angry and though he lived with this gf for about 10 more years he did not love her and finally they split when their little girl was old enough. The gf moved out and left their little girl and the house to him. I never really wrapped my brain around all this until lately. Yesterday I told my bro how this must have been for his gf to care for his very bratty son while he was gone for days on end. He just does not see her side of the story at all, he was like how could she kick MY SON out, bla bla bla? I told him it is no easy feat to raise another woman's or man's child to begin with let alone ALONE! He should have had his son stay with the bm while he was away and not load gf with this whole burden of 3 children to care for, not fair at all. Anyhow, I just thought it was interesting how my bull headed brother could not see her point of view even after I explained it to him from a step moms position. Men can be so thick headed.

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Anne Boleyn's picture

It's funny, I recently had a revelation that would never have hit me until I was in this role myself.

My brother has 2 girls from BM1 who basically flipped out after the birth of their second kid. She took off, became a crack ho, etc... My brother was left with two young kids. He met a woman who moved in with him and basically helped him raise his kids. The couple fought a LOT. Then she got pregnant and my whole family was in an uproar about how she was going to treat her kid better than the first two. And she did. But I always liked her alot -- just felt she was a little unfair.

Five years later, the BM1 is stable and has the two kids EOW. My brother married BM2 recently and everything is pretty good. They were visiting one weekend and I told my SIL that I never previously understood what she was going through, that I was sorry for not understanding and how much I appreciated her taking on such a hard role with my first two nieces. The smile on her face after that was priceless. Someone finally umderstood!

At Easter my mom and stepdad were visiting and he started to say something along the lines of "SIL should love the other girls like her own". I stopped him dead in his tracks and said "First of all, that's not even really possible. Second of all, she's very good to them and is raising another woman's kids. What more do you want from her?? Leave her alone"