I don't even know what to title this blog entry :(
So like my previous post said, I cleaned house. Well today I am puttering along all happy that the whole ss18 thing is over and taken care of. At 3 my SO walks in the door trailed by ss18. I just kept on baking and doing what I was doing. SO proceeds to check out what I am making and I just answer and then finally said in a whisper, "What is he doing back here"?????????? SO told me ss18 needs to take a shower. Ss18 gets his clean things and goes upstairs. I continue to bake,do dishes and was just listening and watching. SO sits down on the couch and we're talking but I am still allears/eyes. SO goes out into the garage to do a few things and I saw ss18 come down and he was in the downstiars bathroom doing whatever so I go out into the garage to finally ask out loud what the hell was going on and why is ss18 here. He tells me ss18 was already kicked out of his friends house. I say ok?... like and now what? and so just stands there looking at me. I say "OH NO..." I then was looking around the garage and noticed SO's old antique old car was draped in blankets. I ask him why the blankets are draped over the windows, had he washed them or was he airing them out. He said he hadn't done anything but had thrown some things up on the roof to make room for cleaning. I went over to the car and low and behold there is a sleeping bag and pillow in the car and all of a sudden it dawns on me that the blankets are draped for privacy and that ss18 had come home last night late after being kicked out of his friend's and broke into our garage and slept in the car. I started yelling, I mean I came unglued. I went into the house and was yelling at my ss18 things like if he'd get his act together he'd be able to get a job and maybe if he acted decent his friends would want him to live with them, etc. I was so angry. Then ss18 had the gall to say to me he was tired of my lectures and then he said he was going to "KEEP MAKING YOUR LIFE MISERABLE AS LONG AS I'M WITH MY DAD". I suddenly got very quiet and went and stood right next to him and said "really? So you think that you can possibly make me more miserable then you will be living in a tent outside on the street with no food and no money?" He started yelling at me then and was got very angry. He threatened me again. I picked up my phone and said to get out of my house b/c I am calling the police. He went outside but left the door open. SO was trying to calm us down but I was too furious. Finally I calmed down enough to say that I am getting a restraining order put on ss18 if he steps foot on my property again. That's when I slammed the door shut in ss18's face b/c he started yelling at me again. SO was still inside with me. He told me he was going to take his son somewhere and to please not get the restraining order. I said I wouldn't as long as ss stayed off my property. Finally SO left. He is extremely sad but he knows his son has to move out and feel a bit of the pain of being without b/c he is simply not figuring things out living with us. The sad part for SO is that no one wants this kid. Ss18 has burned so many bridges and non of his friend's parents want him or his friends.
So like I said, I just don't know what to title this blog. I'm so sad for my SO who is such a good dad and has such a soft heart. He told me he doesn't want to lose me and then I feel badly b/c I don't want to lose him but I also cannot handle his son any longer. I just can't.
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Comments
Sounds like your dh needs to
Sounds like your dh needs to stop coddling his son. He needs to learn what it takes to grow up. I am glad you stood up for yourself. Your ss needs some tough love.
Without tough love he will
Without tough love he will never realize the error of his ways. What cracks me up is the little snot broke in & had slept in that car!! Wow!!! Its not like you havent turned yourself inside out trying to help this kid. Youve tried. Now stand your ground!!
*sigh* yes he did break in
*sigh* yes he did break in and he is a little snot. lol Maybe someday I will look back at this time and laugh but for now I am on pins and needles. arg
Don't wait. Get the RO now
Don't wait. Get the RO now and if you need to .... use it.
Takes this out of DH's hands and let SS know that how this turns out is entirely on him. He can grow up and be a man out of jail or in jail. It is entirely up to him.
Good luck.
Wow, good for you! I kept
Wow, good for you!
I kept reading and thinking it would turn into, 'so he is staying', but you stayed strong!!!
Sounds like this kid needs a good lesson on how to treat others!! but SO NOT your problem!! proud of you
You girls cannot know how
You girls cannot know how very close I came this morning to giving in and letting him stay. But I am standing my ground dispite the fact that I am sick with the flu and at a very weak state. Luckily my SO, who is not quite my husband but will be in 6 weeks, is realizing that I am actually helping him stand strong and cut the cord. He is however helping ss to get settled into a friend's barn for the time being. The barn has a bathroom, is really a garage of sorts, and is a dry and safe place for him to live. The friend's mom who owns the barn is letting him stay there b/c she has known ss since he was a baby and feels like she should help out, but she is not letting ss into her house.
You're right, this is SO NOT my problem and it's actually going to be a relief to have him gone. I have not enjoyed him living with us this past year+. He has tons of friends at school b/c he is such a likable character but b/c of what his mom has done to him, mostly abandonment, he seems to hate woman. He's going to have a lot of growing up to do.
Again thx for all your supportive words.