do kids EVER learn?
Uhg, I am so frustrated with ss16 again. DH and I have been going to bed about an hour earlier in the evenings b/c now that DH has cancer and chemo treatments he just gets so tired. So we go to our room to watch tv together and then he can doze off if he wants. Well bs15 always goes to his room and stays there after eating dinner WITH US, but ss16 most always comes home from school and immediately goes to bed to nap but then gets up just as dh and I are going to bed, proceeds to either make his own food or eat leftovers, but the clincher is that he leaves his dishes on the couch or floor or just on the counter beside the sink and this is after I have done up the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. Dh has asked him to rinse and put the dishes in the dishwasher about a hundred times and it NEVER gets done. BS15 is our dish man and he gets stuck with the crappy chore of having to collect ss dishes and then SOAK them. SS16 always leaves his crap around, shoes and backpack just kicked off and left in the middle of the floor, he's working on a wood project for school right now and it's all over the back patio. I don't know, I am just pissy b/c we are supposed to be moving and we're waiting for the house to close and we are living amongst all the boxes and it's hard to have ss16's mess added to the already messy house. I'm just whining.
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This is what we did. We
This is what we did. We didn't have the same problem you are having, but it cut down on the dishes each day.
But still, I don't think you're whining. Sounds like SS needs to take more personal responsibility. Seems like everyone in the house is pulling their weight except for SS, which should not be the case.
He won't learn until there
He won't learn until there are consiquences. Stop having BS clean up after him. Make SS do it after school before he can nap and then add a punative chore to teach him the lesson.
Sounds like consequences are
Sounds like consequences are in order. When he is getting his phone, laptop, video games, whatever taken away every time he leaves a dirty dish behind, he may just think twice...
Hmm, I'll suggest this to DH.
Hmm, I'll suggest this to DH. My real prob is actually dh. If he'd follow through with discipline it'd work but he sets a rule and ss does it once or twice but then always has the excuse of tired from sports and dh buys into that. My mom never bought that when I was a teen, I was in every kind of sport and activity from volley ball, baseball, church missions and volunteering, etc and my mom still held me accountable for things at home even saying if I didn't take care of my chores she'd take me out of sports. Hmm what a concept for DH who thinks sports come before home chores.
Consistency is key...he can't
Consistency is key...he can't set a rule and then not follow up with consequences if that rule is broken.
Kids are like dogs (and I don't mean this in a derogatory manner). They thrive on routine, rules praise and consequences for their actions. They expect to be disciplined for doing wrong. That's how we raise them.
I used to be a dog trainer. The more consistent with expectations, praise and consequences you are, the better they do.
BS15 is our dish man and he
BS15 is our dish man and he gets stuck with the crappy chore of having to collect ss dishes and then SOAK them
+++++++++++++++++++
So unfair. Make DH do the chores that SS does not do. I know he is goign through a bad time right now..but your DS should not be the one to clean up after spoilt kid.
Oh ya, and get this, the past
Oh ya, and get this, the past 4 weeks ss16 is already gone to school before I realize he has not put out the garbage cans (it's his chore). I am thinking it might be a good idea to have the boys switch chores for a month since bs has also taken in the garbage cans 3 weeks in a row for me b/c when he walks up from the bus and I'm arriving home he sees me struggling with them and he offers to drag them in for me. One thing I am proud of though is that I have and am raising an awesome son! I have come to the conclusion that I am not responsible for raising a sson to be a responsible and kind adult. Though ss does have his moments of kindness and he does have moments of stepping in a working hard WHEN ASKED, but the difference btw ss and bs (and I like to think of this as due to the way each was raised) is that bs steps in when he sees a need and just does it without being asked, ss always tells me "just tell me what needs to be done and I'll do it", when in fact what a lot of employers look for in employees is self motivation, initiation, and responsibility for one's job. Oh well just all part of being a smom.