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Belated update...Thankfully

StepX2's picture

Dawn was able to retrieve what I tried to post yesterday.

http://www.steptalk.org/node/197717

I've been mainly concentrating on DH's health since he became sick early Monday morning, like 3:00 AM early. He had pancreatitis four years ago and I thought he was showing all the same symptoms. We ended up spending most of Monday and half of Tuesday at the dr's office, urgent care & hospital (in that order).
DH is much better and bless him he still wants to try to get this resolved for me. I know if left on his own though, DH most likely would probably let most of it go.
DH has shown me so much change in the time I've been with him and I know he loves his kids but is also fully aware now that he was just someone to use. None of his kids have really shown that they want him to be a part of their life unless there was something in it for them.
They were never COD but from what I gather their BM was still very much into creating a divide and the kids had to show and prove their loyalty to her.

Anyway, I wanted to thank you for listening and am willing to listen to any advice you have to offer...especially regarding getting my video images back.

Comments

StepX2's picture

I remember when you first joined here and our situations were so similar. I think your DH has come along much faster and farther than mine but I have faith in my DH and have seen tchanges in him. I know he's at the point of realizing that he doesn't have to fear being without them in his life. I know for a fact that was a huge fear of his...one which his kids were aware of and took advantage of.

StepX2's picture

That's what I was thinking. Maybe someone who doesn't know shitty mss can at the least separate the self made porn from the others and DH or I can take it from there.
My issue is I have been wanting to see the videos I knew I had of my son. There should be video of a lot of other family as well.
I'm relieved (not exactly fully because I still don't know if shitty mss kept my memoery cards) that I think I've found them and want to see them ASAP. This is like wanting something really bad and all you have to do is take it but taking it comes at a severe price.

AllySkoo's picture

Plug the card into the computer (or the camera, with the card in it) and check the date and times of the files, maybe. If nothing else, you can eliminate SOME stuff if you know it's totally the wrong dates for your pictures. Also the computer should show you just the first frame as the icon - so if that first frame has SS you can skip it. (The first frame - hopefully - will not be as traumatic as a few seconds of video.)

StepX2's picture

Nice Ally! I'll try this myself first and if I'm having any problems I get my daughter to help me.
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! Smile

StepX2's picture

That thought has crossed my mind. To get a good picture of shitty mss, he dresses like a teenage boy, acted like one when he was still living at the house and would do things like "sneak" into the back yard with his adult friends to hide to smoke their dope. He would slam doors and cuss when things didn't go like he wanted. I could really go on but you may get the picture.
This is a grown man who never had to worry or stress about day to day living since he had a roof over his head, food to eat, a vehicle at his sole disposal that was insured and gassed up without shitty mss ever having to give thought to how this was done.

It took many months and a lot of talking to even have DH understand what a disservice he was doing.

StepX2's picture

Yes he knows. The mail, my only hesitation to have shitty mss busted for that is DH, but I won't tell DH that because I may change my mind on that too }:)
And yes, the earrings are just one of many ways through the years that he's screwed with me. It's nice really that I have actual proof if that makes any sense.

twoviewpoints's picture

I hope your DH is feeling better.

As to the videos, you might suggest DH call SS over to sit alone all by SS's self in a private room and figure out what belongs to you/Dad and what is his nasty whatever. You nor DH need to watch that. I don't think I'd let SS take them home to view and bring back your videos...he stole it all in the first place. Don't give SS the option of coming by some time, tell him what day and time and if he doesn't show...DH tosses everything you pack and were storing for SS. Shitheads don't get favors or get to do this at their convenience.

StepX2's picture

Thank you TwoPines. Yes he's feeling much better today.
I agree that none of this is for shitty mss benefit. I don't even care if he gets his videos back tbh.
I don't think I would have him view them in our presence or our home even. Shitty is one that never shows remorse and it would be a big game to him. I can picture him snickering like a preteen boy at the "nasty" parts of his self made porn.

StepX2's picture

MarieJ & StepAside, he won't be allowed to touch anything. What ever he gets will be waiting for him in the storage.
I've written about this before, but shitty mss was driving me up a wall and DH and I broke up several times before we got married because of him.
I've heard the term mini-wife on here. Now replace the young SD with an adult SS. Take away the cuddling and hugs and that is what I saw. Shitty had all the spare space in the house and even infringed on the common areas.
At this point we still don't have everything out because there is stuff in the garage and a large metal shed in the backyard.
DH admitted that he's happy to see the house getting back in order, even though we still have a long way to go.

Shitty is a man who is so disgusting with his hygiene. He'll take regular showers but I don't think he ever owned a toothbrush that I saw. The worse...he NEVER washed his hands...NEVER!!!
The last time DH and I broke up was when I literally had a breakdown because even though shitty had already moved out, he had come by the house that day. I just felt like I was touching crap every where I turned that day.
When shitty was living there and after he moved out, I was constantly scrubbing and cleaning. I couldn't cook without having a minor breakdown. It was so bad that I refused to prepare meals for a very long time.
Sorry...I could go on forever. I'm just feeling like there is going to be an end to all of this finally!!

StepX2's picture

And NO...DH hasn't told him his stuff is moved out yet. I know we're dragging our feet but we won't for long.
I want to just have DH give shitty the keys and the location of the storage and be done.
DH is feeling like we should give shitty his videos but wants me to get mine first. I know DH is a little frightened still of what shitty's reaction will be. My oldest son is a deputy sheriff and we should have him over when we make that call.