I don't think it is unheard of for each to pay half, in fact, I would say that is fair.

We aren't so lucky. DH and I are paying for all of SD's braces. All $5000 of it. BM literally ran out of the office when they started talking payments last week when SD got hers put on.

I didn't think they could make you--this is a cosmetic procedure not a "need". I would check with a lawyer before paying if I were you.

My BF's says he has to pay half of all extras, and dental work is extras, like sports, summer school, camps, etc. Of course BM is suppose to check with him prior to spending any money on these things. But what father is going to deny his kids braces. He also pays for half of co-pays at Dr offices...even if its $15 bucks. Talk about cheap!

so unless there is a medical reason for the braces you don't have to pay for them. That is of course unless it is in the divorce paperwork.

What does your DH's current court order state? This is a MAJOR fact in how I would respond to this situation.

Several months ago we went through a similar scenario with the BM. She had already taken SD, 8 years old, to the initial free consultation for the orthodontist. Then BM proceeds to tell us, after the fact, that SD has an upcoming appointment. BM tells this about a week prior to the actual appointment. BM said that DH needs to be there. We thought it was suspicious considering the fact the BM NEVER lets us know about ANY appointments for SD before or after the fact---unless of course there is money involved. BM's mistake was sending a copy of the documents from the orthodontist's office, explaining about upcoming visit and the charges for braces. After reading the documents we figured out the reason why BM wanted us there---money, of course! Almost $200 would need to be paid before the orthodontist would see SD on this upcoming visit.

Basically the outcome was this---
1. DH refused to go to orthodontist appointment---advised BM beforehand that we would not be coming.
2. Advised BM that DH would not pay a dime of the costs for SD to visit this orthodontist and that if BM could not afford the entire cost then she should cancel the upcoming appointment.
3. Advised BM that due to the fact that she is in direct violation of the court order, which states joint decision making for ALL non-emergency healthcare providers, that DH would not pay any costs or agree to any treatment of SD by any provider that BM does not allow DH to have joint decision making in.
4. Also reminded BM that she stills owe us money (less than $40) for SD's glasses, which BM stated that she would pay over a year ago.

Thus---guess what?---months later and SD has not been back to the orthodontist nor does she have braces.

Hence, you see my point as to why it is important to know exactly what is stated in your DH's current court order. You might be able to use it to your advantage. Also, let the BM threaten you with court. In our case, it is a bluff that BM never follows through. One reason is money (she still owes her last attorney money, which is why he dropped her) and another reason is she knows she is in contempt of court for most of their current court order.

Also in our state (according to CSA/DSS and the family courts), CS money is for ALL expenses for the child---including medical and daycare. Even though our current court order is from another state, which hurts us.

Hopefully things work out for you.

Take care,
Anne

"Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat."

have braces. SD14 $5800.00 will soon be getting hers off... SD10 will soon be getting off her FIRST set... $3000 with $6000 to go :jawdrop: We pay half. Both girls REALLY needed them but honestly it did so much for their self-esteem that I myself would get another job just to pay for them if I had to. I think of it this way... If it were my bio-son, would I do it for him? Of course!!! So I do it for SDs as well. Braces can do soooooo much for a child's self-esteem... I've witnessed it first hand here! Worth every penny!

FH has to pay for 60% of dental expenses. So far, this has included:

SS18's wisdom teeth pulled and braces
SD16's wisdom teeth pulled
SD14's jaw surgery to correct her underbite (she'll need her wisdom teeth pulled as well)

He would be able to claim a percentage of these expenses through his company benefits plan if he were able to send in the receipts in time.

This is in addition to 60% of school trips to Europe for each kid.

Kids are expensive.

At least the court didn't consider the SDs' modelling school necessary, at $6000 each.

I know it's frustrating to have to fork out money...especially if she's always demanding money for something. But, I completely agree with Wicked Step-Monster. It does wonders for their self-esteem. My DD is a beautiful girl (awwww) but had terribly crooked teeth...she has had them on for about a month and her two front teeth and her left eye tooth have moved so much...I am completely amazed. She looks like a completely different person...I could just cry thinking about it...sorry, cramps and PMS...just a tad bit emotional!! :O

In my situation (which is the opposite of yours), my ExH isn't in the picture at all...not one penny of child support (he has a warrant for his arrest for arrearages so he stays away--better for DD). It's is $4200 out of pocket for us...our insurance pays $1000. Anyway, my DH didn't blink an eye....not even a hesitation or bad comment about ExH and why he isn't paying for 1/2...God, I really love him!!!

In certain cases, it might just be for cosmetic purposes, but I would've felt horrible if one of my parents (they are still married though) refused to pay half and as a result, I couldn't get braces. I did need them for actual dental reasons, but I just know how much it changed my life. Cosmetic reasons or not, this is someone's smile we're talking about. You shouldn't have to think twice about smiling...my DD did and it broke my heart....again, PMS talking.

I know it's hard to think about forking out the 1/2 especially if your SD is a pain in the butt, but in the long run, when she gets to an age to actually truly realizes all that your guys did for her, she'll be grateful.

I don't know at this point if SD5 will need braces or not, but I wouldn't give it a second thought....

So I don't expect her to contribute. SD needs them to correct her overlapping eye teeth- a common occurrence when the baby eye teeth don't fall out making no room for the new ones. BM continually harasses DH about it, as does SD, AND our whole family. My own mother sent me an email about a new teen Vampire book coming out soon called "FANGS" with a note "Please take care of SD's horrible teeth before this comes out. High school's hard enough. Your dad is even worried since he had no front teeth through high school til he joined the Army and they fixed them."

I thought, "Et Tu Bruti????" (Caesar reference said to his best friend as he stabbed him for those not into theatre!)

That came attached to info about a writing retreat and the book coming out. At first I wrote a stinging reply about why everyone (including BM, SD, MIL, SIL and now my own flippin' family) appeals to ME to address SD's teeth. Then I stuck that in a draft for a bit and finally issued a reply about the writer's retreat being the same weekend as our normal yearly women's writer's retreat- what a bummer since it's at the Erma Bombeck institute and mom and I are such big fans. I basically left it as though I missed why she was sending it. I figured she would follow up with a "Didn't YOU READ MY NOTE???" response, but she hasn't yet.

Every so often BM goes off on DH about SD's braces not being done yet. He has two responses- "Well, when you are willing to pay your 900 dollars up front? Then we'll make the appt," which results in a flat denial of any knowledge of any such financial responsibility with a "I NEVER signed that!" or "I never saw THAT in any paperwork," which of course, she did sign and should have seen. Then - CLICK! The phone goes dead.

If she pretends she didn't hear that, and starts appealing to him about how SD will be picked on and ostracized, he reminds BM that SD in fact has a "ton of friends, most of them boys trying to 'go out' with her, so perhaps if the teeth are slowing that down any, then getting them fixed will open Pandora's box for the rest of the high school boys to follow her around."

Braces are a sensitive subject around her.

I also don't think many custodial parents couldn't find an orthodontist to say they are medically necessary and not cosmetic. I know the guy we took her to for a consult a year and a half ago, told me that she had many important things that needed addressed (and therefore the cost was exponentially rising throughout the consult.) We will do what we consider important and can be done cost effectively. SD left that appt and called BM saying, "He said I have TERRIBLE teeth and will need a TON of work!" like she was so excited.

BTW, DH waited to get braces til the Army paid for them during his WP years, so he is floored when his mother throws her 2 cents in.

I could, obviously go on and on on this one, and will be posting sometime next week about all of SD's hypochondriac tendencies (she has coaches, trainers, other people's parents' convinced she has a stress fracture right now and in the past will come home with stints, tape, etc, from professionals (parents of friends) who are

Sigh.

A little different situation but I do understand...I am carrying my wife and both step-kids on my insurance since the kids' fathers can't...one "lost" his job in April, the other lost his job last year but has since found one. But he is paying the payment every other month, just like we do. It is tough to shell out the money even every other month I will say that.

Who has the crooked teeth, BM or DH? Thats who should pay

"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"

oh, and as far as I know, my dad never paid a dime for my or my sisters braces. She had to pay it all.

"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"