Is this crazy or is it just me?
I have been a sm for 2 1/2 yrs, and it has been nothing but a challenge, with just a few rewards. One of the many challenges is my dh's family. They decided not long after we got married that they did not like me. I'm not sure if it is because they seem to be good friends bm or not. We have fought many times for custody of the kids, as of right now we have skids every other weekend. The BM and live in boyfriend have both gotten dui's and didnt have license at same time. The BM had the kids on the weekend she got her dui and sd10 had a friend sleeping over that night. BM just recently bought SS7 a paintball gun, and has him shooting a person outlined on a sheet. Does anyone think this is a bit scary? But what can you do? Not much. My sd10, has a habit of playing with her fingers a good portion of the time, and it makes me so sad to see her doing this. Am I being overjudgmental since I think my husband and I could do a better job of parenting? I have a really hard time even being cordial to bm since my feelings of anger towards her are so strong. How do other sm's and sd's deal with this?
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normally (as a bm myself) I'd say
what makes you so sure you could do a better job than bm? BUT BUT BUT...just from the few things you put into your blog about the dumb shit bm does and the bad choices she makes...you could most certainly be better for the kids than her! I had my son at a young age(19) and honestly, when he was with his stepmother I felt she was capable of doing a better job than me at the time I was young,stupid and constantly making questionable choices for myself. I consider myself and my son lucky to have had her. The last few years I've been WAY more mature and my son is now better off with me and he has improved a lot because my environment is stable and healthy. SO I definitely think you guys are onto something good when you are trying to get custody of the kids. BM isn't in a good place right now. She's living for herself only.
As far as the in laws are concerned...my inlaws are best friends with DH's exwife. It isn't likely to change so the most you can ask is just that they respect you when they're in your home and DH needs to back you up on that.
Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. ~Buddha
Feelings of Anger...........Sounds so mature and refined!
Ha ha just kidding. I am way beyond "feelings of anger". You will never get over it as long as BM is making bad choices with the skids. You really need to put a little distance between yourself and the "actions of BM." Let DH deal with that. You just make a happy home for skids and try to keep BM drama out of the house! Easier said than done! I have learned to stop asking questions like: did you get your bath last night? Did you take your medicine last night? Did you get your lunch money? Did you get those papers signed? Did your mother remember to bring the softball stuff?
All these examples are just little things that used to set me off! I can only control what goes on in my house!