I love my husband and I recognize that what he has brought to my life is more that I would have ever dreamed of. But I didn't think I would be having these issues with my stepson. When my husband and I were dating, my SS was so well behaved and polite and I really didn't see much that would signal future problems.

Now, we are married 2 years and I fear living my life being afraid of my husband's ex. I don't want to live the rest of my life walking on egg shells when my SS is around for fear of how my husband's ex will use this against him and control my husband even more.

When my husband and I were dating I didn't notice how afraid of his ex he was. I swear, if I would have noticed it I would have walked away.

I've lived a long life full of fears and I worked so hard to little by little free myself and create a better life for me and my daughter. I've made so much progress that I refuse to fall trap again of living to please someone who is irrational.

I thought my husband didn't hesitate to be firm with his son and his ex but I was wrong. The same way he is patient and caring with me, the same way he is with his ex and his son. I hate that he is like that towards them and I love that he is that way towards me.

At times dealing with my husband feels like I'm dealing with a little kid whom I'm teaching how to deal with difficulties of life. I have to realize that he is an adult and that he needs to find his own way on his own. I felt horrible this weekend when I told my husband that his son's problem about not getting along with friends is due to the fact that his son doesn't know how to cope when things don't go his way. I told my husband that he needs to stop doing everything for his son and pleasing him so he learns to share and to be considerate to others.

My husband felt sad about my comments and felt like a bad dad. I told him that I've felt like that many times with my daughter but I just corrected my approach and moved on. I keep telling my husband that his job is to be a dad and not a friend. Kids need parents not friends.

I'm just beginning to realize that it is not in my husband's nature to be tough and my impatience is only going to make things worse. I wish I could be calm and patient with him and my SS but I can't. I get so frustrated when I see my husband giving in to everything his son wants that I just try to walk away.