DH came home a bit tipsy last night. He's been working so many long hours, he needed to just unwind a bit. But it's funny the things that come out when a bit of alco is involved.

He started to compare me and our kid vs me and his kids, saying I don't have the same urgency with his as with mine. And that I give up on his kids easily.

I was ready to defend myself but I really didn't want a fight. (My kid is just a couple months old, all this baby needs is food and to be changed and I do that! and I have wayyyy more patience with his kids than he even does! I only give up after giving 101%, then I leave the matter to natural consequences, only because I'm not allowed to discipline and set consequences as I would be able to do for my own child) I know he's just really stressed out. So I just asked clarifying questions like... so what you are trying to say is that I don't so such and such and such for your kids????

What eventually came out ---> It's not about me! He started with his comparing because HE feels guilty, for divorcing and not having more time with them, and for not having that sense of urgency with them and for not having that patience with them.

I really felt sad for him. But he's put himself in this position and he's going to have to find some way to balance things out with me and all the kids so that he can feel better about himself. I'm helping with the parenting, but it seems that it doesn't help him emotionally when I do so, it reinforces his view of "him not being a good parent to his kids". So how exactly DO I help him then???