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Wow I am not the only one?

step monster77's picture

Submitted by step monster77 on Fri, 02/17/2012 - 7:14pm

Wow I am amazed at the fact that I am not the only person that cannot stand a step kid! I have 1 step daughter she is 7! Thank God there is only 1! Where do I start??? Her mom is a crazy psycho! She tells her to tell us what to do while she is here, for instance, I ask my kids what they want to eat for dinner 1 day that week. Her choice was of course Mac N Cheese. So I would make that one of the nights she was here. After 2 weeks she came over and said "my mom says I cannot eat Mac N Cheese when I am here anymore." REALLY??? So I made it everytime she was here for a few weeks then that got old hearing her whine about what her mom said! She tells her dad he better spend time playing games, crafts or in her room alone with her or she is going to going to tell her mom! Every time we drop her off she tells her mom everything that happened and her mom ALWAYS calls my husband and yells at him for something. They moved 3 hours away in Aug....this has been such a huge fight with my husband and I because I cannot stand to be in a vehicle with my SD for more than a minute! She talks non-stop!!! She makes noises.....repeats herself constantly, and says Dad, Dad, Dad repeatedly until he answers her. She usually starts as soon as we try to have a conversation. His weekend with her is my weekends off. So it is spent driving 6 + hours. We had to buy a new vehicle so we would have something reliable to go back and forth. Tonight I decided to stay home while he drove 6 hours to go get her! he is furious with me! The last visit I went and stayed with my sister for the weekend, I cannot stand her voice or anything about her! She acts just like her psycho mother! She is VERY manipulative and lies all the time. She pushed my son off the top of the dinning room table while he was in his car seat when he was 2 months. My husband says "did you see it?" No but I turned my back for 1 minute in the kitchen and next thing I knew my son was on the floor. He thinks at 2 months old he could tip the car seat enough to fall off the table!!! No consequences for this child ever!! She wrote on the wall with finger nail polish and blamed it on my 2 year old! he cant spell!!!! Once again NO CONSEQUENCES. I am so fed up with this marriage because of HER and HER MOTHER running our lives. Like I said tonight he is driving 6 hours to get her because his ex said "If you want to see her you have to come get her!" So he did! And left me and the other 4 kids at home with no vehicle and no money!Oh and BTW we have a 4 bdrm house.....the 2 older boys share a room and two younger ones share a room....she gets her own room for 4 nights a month-BECAUSE her mom said if he wants to see her she has to have her own room!!!

Comments

Swan Dive's picture

Submitted by Swan Dive on Fri, 02/17/2012 - 7:52pm

HELL NO. Your husband needs to put his foot down. There are 2 parents and she CANNOT legally withhold his visitations because he didn't do what she wanted (ie the room of her own). If she withholds visitation, he can take her to court and even take custody away from her (not that you'd want it but the fact is she can't dump threats like that, they're not legally backed up. He can even call the police if she refuses to let SD go with him and file against her for not letting him have his daughter on his custody days.

He needs to tell BM that there are rules in your house that she will follow, as there are rule in her house she follows. If her mom told her she can't have mac and cheese, then say, OK, and ask her if there is anything else she would like. Who gives a shit? The kid loves mac and cheese (honestly, who doesn't) it's not hurting the mom by not giving her what she wants, its making her have to make decisions she isn't prepared to decide upon. My skids have told me several times what their mom wants or doesnt want them to do in my house and I told them, "This is what we do here. These are the rules here. If your mom doesn't want you doing that at her house, that's fine." You don't have to take direction from the brat and fear her telling her mother (just don't hit her, on a couple occasions I've mentioned how lucky my skids aren't biologically mine). Tell your husband to grow a pair. When SD leaves this weekend... tell him you need to have a serious talk with him and work out how to deal with this, because what's going on now, is clearly not working.

Dannee's picture

Submitted by Dannee on Fri, 02/17/2012 - 8:40pm

While hubby is driving right now..

I would go into that other bedroom that your skid has and
make it NOT only hers...

Who the hell is her BM...did she make all the "laws and rules"
in your home...or did the judge say...hey that brat has to have
a bedroom of her own..

I would not spend one more night allowing that child to have a room of
her own..

I know you mentioned more on here...but the room deal bugged
the shit out of me...

imthewife's picture

Submitted by imthewife on Sat, 02/18/2012 - 10:33am

I agree with all the above. And it is time to put your DH in his place.

If she doesn't like dinner...she can go without a night. If she doesn't like sharing a room...she can stay with her mom.

You could also get a letter from an attorney telling mom to cease and desist with some of the actions. That may shut her up.

One way or another...this needs to stop.

lac925's picture

Submitted by lac925 on Sun, 02/19/2012 - 4:53pm

WOW This sounds so much like MY situation. I can't stand MY SD8, who pretty much acts like yours; however, FDH believes me when I tell him that she did this or she did that. My heart jumped when I read that she pushed the baby off the dining table :S My 2-month-old son can barely lift his head, let alone push his heavy car seat off a table - so your DH was wrong to assume your SD had nothing to do with it. Your SD should've gotten the spanking of her life for that! As for the room situation, we've had to deal with the same thing when we moved. We had 2 extra rooms in the basement and planned to put SS in one, and the 2 girls in the other. SD8's reaction? "Why do I have to share? I want my own room!" Well, seeing as how we only get them every other weekend, it doesn't make sense to give everyone their own room. Only the people staying at the house full-time (ie. me, FDH, and our 2 boys) get their own rooms. And I wasn't about to waste a complete room for kids who are only here not even 48 hrs at a time. Anyway, they have the whole basement to themselves! And who the f**k does BM think she is, dictating who gets what room in YOUR house?!?

Bottom line, she needs to know who's boss, as does her mother! When she's at YOUR house, she has to follow YOUR rules. Period. I don't know why all SKIDS can't understand that. If they don't like the rules, then they don't have to come over.