I'm new here but I've been reading some posts and I think this might be the place for me. I have a 10-yr old stepson and a 22-year old stepson who drive me CRAZY.

With the 10-year old I try so hard to stay calm with him but he just doesn't listen and just about every day I wind up raising my voice and/or taking away privileges. I know it's not entirely his fault. His dad has raised 3 spoiled children - this one is the youngest. All 3 of them are slobs but I've been in the picture for the last 4 years so I foolishly thought I could alter the path with this one. I don't know if it's in their genes or what (hubby says their mom was a total slob) or maybe it's because he sees his older sister (18) and brother (22) being slobs & they get away with it so he feels he should too.

Besides being slobs, they all lie too. About everything - even completely unimportant things.

The 18-yr old moved out so I thought that would help in getting the 10-yr old to listen but the 22-year old moved in and he's even worse. My hubby let him have a cat he found & because he doesn't clean the litterbox, the cat started using the bed and of course he didn't clean it so the cat keeps going there and I only just found out because I was investigating the horrible stench coming from that side of the house. So now my spare bedroom mattress is ruined and hubby wants us to buy him another bed. Grrr.

Back to the 10-year old... He's completely sneaky. He's always trying to get away with stuff. Certain things I have talked to him about over & over & over. I've tried incentives, taking away privileges, yelling, etc. I don't know what to do with him. I'm so sick of hubby believing the child. He's always lying and if you dig a little or even just check up on him, you discover the lies. But hubby won't do it. He thinks the kid tells the truth. Haha. He'll say he brushed his teeth when he hasn't, he'll wet his bed and not tell anyone, he'll eat in his bed & leave crumbs & wrappers there, he taunts the animals, he lies about what he has for homework so he can go out & play quicker, and tons of other little things - and yes I do know they're little things but when they start adding up and you put someone (me) in the role of mom who has never been a mom before, I just want to cry and pull my hair out. The worst part of the 10-year old and what really drives me nuts is this... When you catch him lying or doing something wrong and you scold him, he gives you a completely blank look. It is so infuriating! I wish I could describe it better so you would understand what it does to me.

OK, sorry for this being so long and my rambling... I'm just fed up & frustrated & angry with myself for not being better at this parenting thing.