You are here

My ExH is so lame- minor vent

step off already's picture

So my ex (bf to my three kids) tells me that he "only" had last weekend with the kids to do anything for the holidays. He HS every other weekend and on his next weekend, he is going on a scout trip wth the boys and dd13 has to perform at school in the play for three nights.

He gives me a sob story that he wants to take the kids out to the city. I ask when his mom will be in town since every year he never plans appropriately and I'm always lefty to Rush the kids out for a day with his mom.

I agree that he can take the kids for an extra weekend day/ night with the understanding that it will revolve around his mother - who will be coming the weekend befor Xmas.

Then all of a sudden, yesterday ex asks if he can have the kids this weekend. I remind him that I thought we were working around his Moms visit and let him know we already have plans.

My kids get home and tell me that dad says they are going with him this weekend. I tell then no. Sm picks up kids and tells dh that thy are going with them this weekend. Um. No.

I've complained over and over about what a poor planner/ scheduler my ex is but wtf. It's the holidays and you can't just assume things will bend your way - TWO days prior to you wanting to change the schedule.

Sheesh. We have family coming for dinner Friday and plans on Saturday to do our tree,etc.

Comments

furkidsforme's picture

I think you missed her point. Her point isn't that he has to justify the use of his time, she was only being helpful reminding him to schedule time for GMa. Her point is, he can't unilaterally decide he has them an extra weekend when he didn't ask for that weekend and she didn't agree to it.

moeilijk's picture

I see how you took what the OP wrote. IMHO, the OP is still playing 'wifey' to her exH, if she's lifting even a little finger to help him or remind him about his priorities.

step off already's picture

I don't actually care when. He could have had them extra days this weekend or in two weeks (he also has them 1 or 2 nights during the week as week. We do about a 60//40).

He just can't decide that he's taking them, not inform me, tell the kids it is so and then decide to ask me two days before the weekend. I have plans of my own as it is the holidays.

Disneyfan's picture

It's the holiday season. Many people have had plans in place weeks ago. As long as her plans are not scheduled during his time, she isn't doing anything wrong. She's agreeing to bend IF the change is so that the kids can spend time with their grandmother. She shouldn't have to bend to accommodate his trip plans which may be a result of his poor planning.

step off already's picture

Exactly. I don't really care. He can take them extra days of we plan in adjacent. Two days is not really going to work. The only reason I mentioned his mom was that he always forgets to plan around his mom's visit and I usually end up taking the kids to lunch with her or to meet her for the day. Which is fine as well.

He just has the poorest planning skills. Ever.

Clearly he told the kids and SM that this change was in stone. ... Then he decided to run it by me. Sorry. We have family coming over in fri night, an event at the kids school sat morning and we are getting our tree.