the wait - for the counter proposal
BM said she would mail her counter proposal Wed or Thurs for sure. So here I sit waiting for the mailman since I have to sign for it. BF is at work so he can't be here to get it. I hate waiting and the anticipation is killing me. I wonder what she will say. I am hoping she treats all this like a business transaction like BF did when he wrote his first offer. No need for emotions at this point, they just get in the way of the real issue and cloud judgment and good sense. All this waiting is taking away from my usual Saturday errands. I got most of my baking done and made goulash for later this week.
Hurry up Mr Postman!
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Do you ever wonder...
If they devote so much of their time to trying to figure US out? I don't think they do. I think they create havoc for us and then go merrily on their way til the next time they feel like screwing with us.
SD's BM blamed us for conspiring, for laughing about her etc while sobbing hysterically on the phone to DH the day after she didn't show for visitation. And I'm thinking...does she really sit around thinking that much about us? Or when she flips it suddenly occurs to her that she can BLAME us?
I just can't stand it.
Peace, love, and red wine
I swear to you...
our BMs are one in the same. BM is so friggin' paranoid, she has accused her mom of conspiring to make the girls hate her and her BF. She has accused DH and me of making all the soccer moms hate her.
DH told her NOBODY CARES enough about you to bother!!!!
Personally, I'm too busy walking on eggshells not to anger the beast....
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
I agree with your DH's take
I feel that way when SD turns on the paranoia too. I want to say, "The teachers are not sitting around thinking, 'How do I make [SD's] life miserable? Oh I know- I'll give her a C instead of the A she deserves!" The other kids in class aren't all staring at her or whispering about her, the other girls don't all wish they were her. At one point SD kept a journal about everything everyone did around her to annoy her. She would be talking to someone and writing about them at the same time. One boy picked his nose to annoy her, one breathed funny to annoy her, one sucked up to the teacher to annoy her. She is forever complaining about being stared at. THAT's paranoid.
I just want to say...why are you so important that everyone sets their day around annoying you?????
I think these BM's are the same way. When we took SD to counseling, and after MONTHS finally had the Dr call BM to try to involve her, BM called crying to DH, "Why are you doing this TO ME?" DH said, "This has nothing to do with doing something to YOU, this is for [SD]." She just went on and on. Even now with the conversation about her neglecting to pick up SD on her night or call. It was our fault, we are mean to her so she doesn't want to see SD anymore?
Until next time when she shows up showering her with gifts as if nothing had happened.
CRAZY....
Peace, love, and red wine
Yes, I agree
They definitely sit around trying to think of the next attack. Hubby's ex, we have witnessed first hand that if things are quiet we are to be prepared...because it will be a doozy of a hit coming....and it does shortly after. They have made it their personal mission in life to try and distroy ours.
Hope you have...
your attorney on speed dial?!?!?
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
we got it
W=e finally got the counter offer and for the most part she wrote verbatum what we wrote. Except, she wants sole physical custody and when baby turns 1 change parenting time for BF from 8 times per month to the one overnight EOW. No way. BM also in the event of her death wants her family to have visitation including weekend overnigts and holidays. Both of BM's parents are dead and no one got together for Christmas and she is not doing anything for Easter so she offered that time to us. Plus she wants a crazy amount of child support. While they were married BF contributed 800 a month to the household because he had his own business and they agreed to that amount the rest of the business money went back into the business. Now she wants about that much for child support.
Nuts Nuts Nuts
yes
We went online and so did she but she is basing her calcualtions and what BF said he made in the divorce decree but did state his income amount could be based on BF last 2 months paystubs. Which is considerably lower than he stated in the divorce. I think he just guessed. If you average his last 3 years of wages, he would not pay anything at all. Here's the kicker, BM does not know that BF adopted my 12 year old daughter and that makes the projected CS amount even more. I have been checking on the cost for daycare in BM's area to be sure she does not pad the amount she claims to be paying when baby goes to daycare this summer. Baby goes to work with BM now cause montessouri schools allow teachers to bring their baby's to work and even breastfeed in class.
Smurfy - check visitation
Smurfy - check visitation guidlines for that age in your state. Most states say that one night every other week until one (no overnight at all until age three)
From 10-6 every other saturday no overnight until the child is three at which time you get your standard first and third - I would push the joint custody issue but if she doesn't agree to the overnight deal chances are the judge won't order it (just saying so you keep that in mind during negotiations.)