When SS24 was about 14, he developed an interest in boxing. I mentioned it in prior blogs. DH paid for his training and SS would go almost daily. He was good, but he wasn’t great. Had a couple of matches and then at 17/18 left the sport because he had a bad shoulder.According to one version of how he began smoking, SS says that someone at the boxing gym gave him some marijuana to help ease the pain of the shoulder injury. After he left boxing, he wanted to become a rapper/talent manager. 

The thing about Ss24 is that he is overconfident but underskilled. He wanted to get his driver license immediately and he did, passed it at 18. Wanted to use our car all the time so I bought him his own car, thinking he would be like I was with my first car. In a week he had 3 accidents, the 3rd of which put the car out. Got the car fixed for him, and wham within a month, hits a sandbag and car out of commission. Starts to mope, I feel bad and offer him to use my credit to buy himself another car (he was working and I had a 0% interest offer). Within 3 months, not sure what he did but car stopped working.  Drives recklessly and equates speeding with skilled driving (saw his social media posts of him bragging that he's speeding), and now has a suspended license for unpaid tickets. Like I said, overconfident and underskilled. 

When he started his boxing journey he would say that he was going to “the best ever” and that he wasn’t going to stop until he was at Mayweather’s level. It was billionaire status or nil. I tried to tell him to have a plan b but he said that was for people who already saw themselves as failures. 

Yesterday he sent DH a text saying he wanted to get back into boxing. I was using DHs phone so I saw when the text popped up. DH looked like he didn’t want to talk about it. 

I see that Ss is overdrawing his bank account again (he never updated his address so the bank letters still get routed to me). I believe he’s still trying to find a way to become a celebrity or become something “big” in this world, and in his head becoming a boxer and making it into the big leagues is the way he can achieve the status he wants. 

The thing is, he’s not very good at discipline. This is someone who is working a 40 hour work week, making at least 800 weekly after taxes, living with his BM, her dad, their baby and SS19 in public housing (which I’m sure they pay no more than 1k in rent) and he still finds a way to overdraw his bank account (his bm works too). I’m not sure how he expects to train for boxing while working while being there for his kid and his BM. And I’m almost certain he smokes up the wazoo still which isn’t conducive for fighting. He won’t give up those habits, and there are others out there who are doing whatever it takes to get to the top. In other words, he isn’t hungry enough. 

I think maybe real life is happening to him and he realizes that he’s likely to live in mediocrity at best. Which reminds me of when he first started boxing and declared that he’d rather die than live a life of mediocrity. Yet…there he is. Made mediocre decisions, now living an average life. 

The fact that it enters his brain to think he’ll just go back into boxing speaks to how much DH and his BM (may she RIP) failed him. I know that it’s all the rage now to accuse people of being narcissists but I do believe SS24 is a narcissist. I don’t like him, I feel like he’s never been able to be real with anyone. And anytime he thinks of something “big” it’s for him to become rich, a celebrity, with multiple wives. He doesn’t seem to be thinking of his son, or how to become a man his son can look up to. He’s still just thinking about how he can be the center of attention. I see him as a stupid little boy with stupid little boy dreams. First the boxing, then the rapping, then just straight lying on social media about who he is, convincing these dumb girls he’s about to help their “career”. It’s how he met his BM, who I do have to say, is well spoken at least and appropriate in demeanor. The best I believe he can get to in boxing may be to be the tune up for the main guys they want to promote. 

And of course SS19 isn’t too far behind. I snuck through DHs messages quickly after I saw Ss24s message and SS19 sent him a text Monday asking for 25 dollars for a haircut. Mind you, he is supposedly working doing food deliveries, so not sure why he can’t pay for it himself. DH never mentioned it, and I suspect he sent it to him from his business account since it didn’t reflect in his personal account. 

I’m just glad we don’t live together anymore. Their priorities and ways of being are confusing and annoying to me. And I don’t want it rubbing off on DD9.