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Ex Wife thinks my bio daughter is her personal sitter

smomtologan's picture

I need to know if I am being out of line... Here is my story. My step son lives with his mother. We have him often, he spent the court ordered month with us in July. The rest of the summer is supposed to be her responsibility. Well, there is no child care for the week before school where she had him. She knew this a month ago but waited until the last minute to tell us that she didn't have the money and needed us to have him. We have had this issue before. We said that my bio daughter could watch him but she needed to pay her. She threw a fit and said that she didn't think it was fair for her to have to pay my daughter to watch "her sibling". My issue is that this is a week that is her responsibility and I feel taken advantage of. Then she puts the guilt trip on my husband so he comes to me and says "I could be with my son for another week".

Question--am I out of line to think that the EX should pay for my daughter to watch my step-son? Also keep in mind that she gets her FULL child support even when we have him for the month in the summer.

Comments

goodmom's picture

BM should not expect your kid to watch hers. She is really assuming alot there. If the kdis all lived permanently under one roof like ours I guess it might be difference. In this situation though no, I think BM is expecting way too much.

Having a baby does not make you a mother.

goodmom's picture

BM should not expect your kid to watch hers. She is really assuming alot there. If the kids all lived permanently under one roof like ours do I guess it might be difference. In this situation though no, I think BM is expecting way too much.

Having a baby does not make you a mother.

Amazed's picture

I think your daughter should be given some sort of reward for her time...and that reward should come from bm since she's the poor planner who didn't ask for help sooner and she didn't give ample notification when she could have. And I see where DH is coming from about "be with my son another week." ok...then HE can pay daughter to watch son OR HE can take off work to be with him. Either way, it's only fair that if your daughter is going to be saddled with this task she deserves a reward of some sort just for being a good girl at least. I'd say the same if it were my situation.
My stepdaughter is 4 years older than my bioson. I'm sure I'll ask her to watch him while she's at our house at least a few times when they're older...and I will absolutely be paying her for it too whether it's taking her to buy something like a new purse or makeup or just giving her an 'allowance' for doing it. You can't get something for nothing anymore...not even with children/teens.

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. ~Edward, Duke of Windsor, Look, 5 March 1957

libby's picture

Someone for sure needs to pay your daughter to babysit - she did not put herself in the situation for sure.

I would make her pay for sure - If DH (I understand his point of view) then split the cost - But bottom line is she needs to be paid -

In my house when my daughter babysits for me or DH - its just part of the family responsibility - anyone else asks her to babysit she needs to be paid, no matter if they are family or not.

Abigail's picture

Your daughter should be paid. My question is, what if she doesn't want to babysit? Does she even want to do this? I asked because I was forced to watch by niece because my sister had 3 kids she couldn't take care of. Why is that a 14 year old girls problem? I don't think she should be forced to do this.

If your daughter is okay with watching him, I think she should be paid a fair amount. How BM and DH split that up is up to them but I'd get it in advance.

"Evil Stepmothers aren't born, it comes with the territory"

luckykell's picture

My parents weren't divorced, and they are still married 35 years later! They paid me to babysit my little brother all the time! Just because they are related does not mean it's "free"!! Babysitting is like a natural step into the working world, if you require them to do it they will grow up not wanting to work. If you "hire" them to babysit and then get paid, then they'll see that "working" can have it's benefits.

"Live well, Love much, Laugh often."

stepmom2one's picture

No but I would suggest a small amount. Maybe $50 for the week--you will pay her some too???

BD should get some pay IMO.