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Fighting with SD

Smithlopez's picture

So my husband and I have been together for 6 six years and up until recently I have had a pretty good relationship with ALL of my SC. Recently my 14yrs SD got into my face and was disrepctful to me. Her father stepped right in and told her to stop due to her language and disrespect. She pulled the good ole "your not my mom" card. which in my case is quite laughable since I have NEVER wanted children of my own. I had thought that we (SD and myself) had reconciled. She told me she loved me and hugged me goodbye. Since then she has recruited her sister who is 9 to TEAM HATE SM. She is completly unwilling to admit her wrong and has continued to say she can do what she wants because she is an emotional teenager.

Now her father and I have spoken about this and we are united together. But my emotions are still a wreck because I truly love her and hurts to hear say such horrible things about me. How can this get fixed? How does one get past our own emotions and work with our SC?

Comments

stepfamilyfriend's picture

It's very hard to deal with. She is right in that she is an emotional teenager, but it still does not make it ok. Brace yourself, teenagers are very, very hard and step teens harder. It sounds like your HB has your back, and that is a huge plus. Getting past our own emotions is hard for most of us. Think long term, be clear about boundaries. One advice I have is to think hard before you say a consequence or "if you....then ....) because it is very important to follow through. Every time you don't follow through, it's a big set back. So grounding for long periods, better think about it because it needs to happen if you guys said so. I recommend the book " Parenting teens with love and logic", it made a lot of sense to me.

Cara B's picture

I feel the pain. Teen girls are the worst, and when they have psycho BM's it makes the childs problem that much worse. Brace yourself there is more of the attitude to come. Don't ever let her get away with the behavior and she is old enough to be held accountable for her actions. It is still part of our step-misery to influence appropriate behaviors.

B22S22's picture

"She is completly unwilling to admit her wrong and has continued to say she can do what she wants because she is an emotional teenager."

So when you give her consequences for her action(s) tell her you can do that because you are an emotional, wacked out SM.

Just kidding....

But wouldn't it be great to be able to do that? I mean, as SM's we deal with psychotic behaviors from DH/SO's, SK's, BM's, and everyone else who thinks they need to nose into our lives. Yet we are expected - by EVERYONE - to remain calm, emotionless beings because if we don't, then it's presumed we hate our SO's, hate our SK's and don't want them around, or are "out to get" the BM.

:sick:

Smithlopez's picture

Thank you all for replies. It means alot to be able to get this out and have thoughtful people reply back. We are working on communicating better with each other.