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Is this weird behavior? Sending selfies to teenage kids?

slkastep's picture

So, my husband, in my opinion, has an overly close relationship with his daughter.  She's 18.  He's been sending her selfies.  Just him smiling, but I think it's so weird.  He doesn't send them to his son.  He doesn't  even send them to me (he used to when we dated, though).  And then she hearts them.  
I have an 18 year old daughter and I don't send her selfies of me, only pictures of us together after an event or something.

so is this weird??  To me it is like what people do when they're dating...send selfies back and forth.  

other weird things...the father and daughter solo vacay.  the fact that he'll tell me he is bringing something home for me, but already called her and said he was bringing it home for them...like a treat or something.  Or he will call her and tell her where he is and what he's doing, but doesn't call me, or calls me afterwards.  I really feel like he treats her like a partner.  I don't know if he realizes this, but we've fought about it many times. 
 

so is it strange?  I'd like opinions from men, too.  
(There is nothing else in the pic.  Not standing in front of something or showing a background.  Just a close up of his face)  and they see each other all the time, like 4 days a week, so it's not like they had been apart and you're sending a picture of yourself because you think maybe they miss you and would just appreciate a picture.

Comments

slkastep's picture

Bothers you the most?

Rags's picture

All of it.  It is as if he is so stunted that he cannot differentiate between a spouse relationship and a parent relationship so he just replays his stunted lack of relatioship maturity script.  He is treating his 18yo as he should treat his mate.  

Bad

MorningMia's picture

Yes. It is odd. Yes, it's as if they are pretending to be partners.
Ask him how many other men he knows do this. The answer: zero.

Survivingstephell's picture

He's treating her like a mistress.  Only thing is you know about her and the difference is that she is his daughter, and he hides behind that.  He gets something from this behavior.  Validation of some kind.  

Lillywy00's picture

"Narcissistic" supply is what he gets out of it. 
 

*I am not a licensed therapist and Idk if op partner is a narc, but this behavior is typical for a narcissistic type of person

Little Type Amy's picture

Its so Inappropriate...hands down.  What is up with these SD's (/ Mini Wives wannabes)  and the DH's who encourage this) not knowing what boundaries are if they were hit on the head of with them? I'd be calling that out for sure and take that a sign of Jealousy as if SD is doing what she can to make sure that she still expects to come first. Thats their MO...Besides, at 18 years old, you would think she would have her Own boyfriend or at least friends...or something else going on that doesnt involve being so enmeshed with YOUR man instead

 

used2beRutherford's picture

This is really weird. And totally inappropriate. I mean, WHO is he married to again?

Lillywy00's picture

My ex used to do creepy Disneyland Dad stuff 

He would lay his used clothes (including his underwear) on her bed because according to him it was still "his" room since he paid the bills and he was going to clean it up before she arrived for her visits (which a few occasions he "forgot")

He took our couple pictures off his cellphone wallpaper screen replaced with photos of his daughter as a toddler and one of his deceased mother......so I'm in essence competing with a ghost and spawn 

And he was so enmeshed with his kids especially his daughter that he allowed her to call 24/7 for non emergencies. One time it was so bad we were in the middle of intimate action and his daughter called, this fool interrupted our adult time answered the phone. I was so disgusted with his behavior that I instantly lost interest in that moment and for a while afterwards 

Yeah I felt like a mistress many times while he inappropriate treated his daughter like his wife giving her unnecessary access to him like taking her non emergency call all hours of the day and night even during the middle of seggs, putting her as his screensaver, letting her wear his sweaters/clothes, allowing her to see his location 24/7, sprawling her artifacts (love letters from her to him) in our bedroom, sprawling his uses clothes all over her bedroom

 

Of course I called him out for acting like a creep with his daughter....

And since he was a Disneyland dad...y'all already know how he responded. 

used2beRutherford's picture

I remember that story about your DH answering the phone during your quality time! I was pissed then, and I'm pissed for you now. That is just awful!

DarkElf's picture

Woah thats another level of weirdness. If I was you I also would have been fuming to have our relations interrupted by SD calling my SO let alone him then picking up.

Just seeing his failed family spawn loitering around can sometimes be enough to turn me off him (she's a result of a friends with benefits situation during which 20 year old SO stupidly didn't wear a condom) so if she was to interrupt us during adult time, I'd probs be put off him for weeks and I'd tell him that too. 

Harry's picture

But I am old and cellphones were before my time. $.10 pay phones 

AgedOut's picture

creepy very very creepy. not sure if it's both of them or just your husband but ewwwwwww to the ick

Winterglow's picture

I'm not very subtle - "Oh, FFS, grow UP! Do you really think that adults send each other selfies unless they're dating? Seriously?"

DarkElf's picture

Yup it's weird. Agree with poster who said adults send selfies to each other when dating. That's typically the only time.

Yesterdays's picture

Maybe a selfie if they are in front of something like the Eiffel tower otherwise it creeps me the eff out... The idea of an adult sending a selfie of just their face to their adult child??? Weird 

slkastep's picture

Like I have sent my daughter pictures of me on vacation to show the background.  Or I've sent her pictures of me and other people.  But not just a picture of me at work.  Like it's literally pics of him, like headshots, while he's at work.  Nothing else.  And we did do this when we were dating or even after we got married, when we were apart.  But, I think if if I just sent my daughter a picture of me just sitting there in my car or something, she'd probably ask me why I sent her that???

Yesterdays's picture

Exactly.. Like is there something cool going on or what is the deal lol. I agree it's super weird