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My husband is angry that my daughter is dating someone of a different race.

slkastep's picture

They are both seniors and work together.  My husband is making it very difficult.  He hasn't said anything to her, but he's been acting like it's the end of the world to me.  Saying she's making a highe mistake and will ruin her life.  

Comments

Winterglow's picture

Tell him that it's none of his darn business and to cut the crap. I'd also tell him how disappointed I was in him - I hadn't seen him as a racist before.

Mominit's picture

Tell him to pull his head out of his a$$ or you'll be making his life much more miserable than he's trying to make your daughter's.  Should be a pretty short (and if needed cold or loud!) conversation!

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Did you delete you other post about this? My question on that post was did you know your DH was a bigot when you married him? If you did, then this should not be surprising. If this is new behavior, you  need to decide if you want to remain married to someone who feels this way. In the meantime, he needs to stay out of your daughter's dating life.

slkastep's picture

I thought he was opinionated, but I didn't realize when it came to something like this that he would be as angry as he was.  I understand the initial shock and why many people would prefer for their children to date in their own race, but I thought he would accept it and let it go.  He's a good kid, he's respectful and does not drink, or smoke, or even go out to bars.  He treats her well, and I feel that's all that should matter.  So yes, I am shocked by my husband's attitude.

ESMOD's picture

What are your feelings?  she is your daughter.. 

Does your husband generally have negative feelings towards people of other races.. or this race?

Or.. is it something like he is concerned that she will have difficulties culturally assimilating with him? (my brother married an asian woman and there were definitely cultural issues and clashes that in part were the demise of his relationship.. so I can see that could be a concern).

but the way you are talking.. it's like you feel it is more that he has a neg view of that guy's race.. and that means you probably knew that about him.. people don't tend to really overly hide those viewpoints.. it would have likely been shown in other ways.. and in other circumstances.

What were your feelings before your daughter had this relationship.. did you share your husband's feelings prior.. but now feel differently when faced with a different reality?

 

 

slkastep's picture

Initially, I was apprehensive, I won't lie.  But, then I saw what a great young man he is and how well he treats my daughter.  And that's all I care about....her being with a good, respectful man with a good heart.  And he is all of those things.  So I'm happy. Happy that she's with a good man.  Happy that she's happy.   But it's been 9 months now and my husband's attitude about it still sucks.  

Aniki-Moderator's picture

She's not his daughter so your H needs to zip it.

Does the young man treat your daughter respectfully? If not, that is a problem. 

Life is made to be lived imperfectly so we can experience it. Try new things, find what we like or don't like. That includes what we like or don't like for future partners. 

Your H needs to step back and concern himself with his own offspring. 

Rags's picture

This is a situation where your focus must be on protecting your DD,.... from your idiot DH.

Not something I recommend lightly. But, some things cannot be tolerated in a mate.

This is one of those.

IMHO.