SKIDSarekillingme2's Blog
Why doesn't my D17 believe me :(
I’m hurting today. My D17 shared with her friend all her frustration with me and the breakup of my marriage to toxic POS. The friend’s mom is a very good friend of mine and shared some of this conversation with me. D17 is upset because I’ve decided to move in with my boyfriend of over a year this summer. He has a D16 and she doesn’t think they will get along. She feels it will be awkward and she’s “not ready”. Her and I have had several conversations about this, and she has been given ample time to get to know BF’s daughter. Including two vacations together. I feel it would be good
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Are you thinking of getting out? You can...life is good on the other side
It's been over a year now since I packed my DH's stuff and he left. To say I stuggled is an understatement. I cried so many nights alone on my bathroom floor that I thought I might never go back to good. He created a successful campaign to discredit me, and I lost all of the friends I had made in the last four years. It was pain heaped on pain. I was shocked that my friends chose my alcoholic highly dysfunctional probably sociopathic partner over me. I went down a terrible rabbit hole of believing I was as bad as he said.
The Dreaded “D” Word and How COVID Made Everything Clear
The moment I have been trying to avoid for the last three years is here. My DH and I are getting a Divorce. Yes, I said it the dreaded “D” word. I feel extremely sad and I’m worried we won’t go through with it, but it is the right choice.
I wish we could save SD13 from her BM
Things have been relatively quiet on the home front. This is mostly because I’ve stopped engaging in most things having to do with SD’s and IL’s. I totally removed them from my social media, and I have asked my friends/family not to tell me anything they might see.
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Graduation party and the evil spider eyes
It is in moments like this that I’m left scratching my head over BM, aka spider eyes, behavior.
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Oh no SD13 is behaving like a brat! Is this the beginning of the end :(
Oh no SD13 is behaving like a brat!
I’m so disappointed and starting to question who SD13 really is. I witnessed some terrible behavior from her last night and honestly it isn’t the first time. I think I’ve just been trying to ignore it. The behavior is only slightly directed at me and far more subtle than how she behaves to her dad.
Where can I be safe?
I’ve been able to dig in and keep my boundaries and remain no contact with SD18. It hasn’t been easy, DH makes me feel bad about it, but I’ve done it. DH has only seen SD18 once (now twice) since I went no contact. I know he is very angry with his daughter about her behavior and his way of dealing with these types of difficult things is to avoid them. I feel this exacerbates the problem because now SD18 feels I’m taking her father away when the truth is he doesn’t want to deal with her either. She is a manipulative, preditory, kind of scary person who has launched a very effective camp
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All of these leftover feelings
Going NC with BPD SD18 has brought a lot of peace to my life and I know it was the right choice. Going NC with toxic IL’s has brought me peace as well and I know it was the right choice. I just have all of these leftover feelings.
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When someone shows you who they are…
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Update on Am I Asking too much? NO I’M NOT!
So I ended up digging in on some things with DH.
I asked that he either confront dysfunctional IL’s or get rid of them on social media and phone. No movement on this front.
I asked that he begin to seek counselling specifically for dealing with SD18. He texted a great therapist we know that specializes in BPD but has yet to make an appointment. Baby steps but I’ll take it.
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