I almost cried this week for my Skids. I really can't imagine doing what BM does and not feel the least bit guilty about it.

From SS7 stand point...

Thursday was SS5 5th birthday. BM asked FDH to have SS5 call her, so he did. He dialed the phone and handed it to SS5, they talked and SS5 handed the phone back but BM had already hung up. FDH was GOING to ask her if she wanted to talk to SS7 (who was standing right there waiting). But luckily I don't think SS7 realized who SS5 was talking to but it still made me sad. Would it have killed her to say hi to SS7? I am pretty sure earlier this month on SS7's b-day she called and talked to both boys.

Friday BM insisted on picked SS5 up from school because they had a school picnic and she thought SS5 would throw a fit if she made him get on the bus and not go with her. (I think he would have been FINE) BM added that she wanted some time alone with SS5. Well I had SS7 and we hung out just the two of us until FDH came home with SS5. SS7 didn't asked me where SS5 was (i always said that I would never lie to the kids) but when FDH came home with SS5, SS7 asked him where SS5 had been. FDH told him the truth and the look on SS7's face was heart breaking, I had to walk away. SS7 even asked why BM hadn't picked him up from school (they go to the same school) We just said we didn't know.

Saturday while waiting in the car for FDH SS7 said , out of no where, that he couldn't wait for Wednesday (his school picnic) because BM would take him after school and then her hubby would go get SS5 when he got done with work. Clearly he had been thinking about what happened, but since he hasn't talked to BM yet I gather this is HIS plan not hers. The sad part is I would be willing to bet money that BM either doesn't take SS7 from school or she does and then goes to get SS5 right away. She is going to break that little boys heart if she does - but knowing her she will make him feel guilty about not wanting to spend time with SS5.

Sunday we dropped the boys off and the first thing she does it pick up Ss5. she didn't talk to ss7 until FDH told her about why we shaved his head. Then she just patted him on the head like a puppy.

From SS5 stand point...

She never gives him a chance - the picnic thing wasn't the first time that BM insisted that SS5 can't or won't do things. This school year alone she said that he wouldn't ride the school bus, which as it turns out he LOVES riding the bus. She said not to bother with school pictures because he threw a fit last year, but FDH asked the school to try and guess what, he did great. She told the doctor that SS5 doesn't do well in public or play well with kids - we sent photos and told them that he love going out and kids. I could go on.

I can't really explain how she does it but SHE makes SS5 cry and throw fits so that they have to leave or to make us think that he doesn't want to be with us. FDH had to go get SS5 on Friday because I knew that she would do something to make SS5 cry and then tell everyone that he didn't want to go with me, sure enough when FDH got there he was playing the Wii and didn't want to go. But we got her because FDH remind him that his birthday party was today and then the kid couldn't get his shoes on fast enough. More and more the little things she does to upset SS5 aren't working because he LOVES to do things and be outside - and WE let him so he loves to come to our house and be with us. The last 2 times BM dropped him off he couldn't get out of the car fast enough despite her efforts to upset him. Once because he ran into the backyard to play after she kept him inside all weekend and the 2nd because we were going camping (and he knew it) and she had kept him inside all weekend. It makes me sick that she wants him to be upset and cry. (yet proud because it's not working any more!)

BM has also been giving him a laxative - which was prescribed by a doc - but the bottle says to only take it for 9 weeks, it's been 17 weeks! SO this time when BM sent it to our house I dumped it out. I told FDH that laxative abuse could really hurt him and make him sick. I had a nephew that was on laxatives for too long and not he is in therapy to learn how to poop again, and he is 7! SS5 is having issues early in the week when BM dropped him off he kept running to bathroom and saying his 'belly' hurt. then he didn't poop until this weekend, he doesn't know what it feels like any more or how to push.

Over all...

SS5 is improving but it seems like the more he improves the more BM clings to him and the more she clings to SS5 the less she cares about SS7. Who BTW hasn't been sleeping well, needed a hair cut because of sweating (hair smelled), and had a butt rash/ezama out break.

I have been nice to BM lately - like I said in an earlier post maybe it would be better to have BM as a false friend than an enemy - but when she does stuff like this it makes it heard to hide my hatred of her. But I would like to be able to talk to her about stuff with the kids. She even invited me to SS7's picnic but I told her I would have to check my schedule. I would like to go but I didn't go to SS5's and my playing favs doesn't make it right/better. On the friendship side though I have already told myself if BM starts getting TOO friendly I am going to nicely tell her that we don't have much in common/aren't into the same things so hanging out probably isn't going to happen. which is the truth!