Nature Vs Nurture
FDH and I had it out a little bit ago because he seems to think that his kids are cry baby drama queens just because all kids are like that. When told him OUR future child wouldn't be a Whiny Ass Bitch, he laughed at me.
Here is what started that discussion. FDH was home when we walked back from the park and SS5 was following behind, in tears. When he asked what was wrong I told him that he fell like 2 minutes ago and scrapped his knee just a little. I was unphased and just kept walking. SS5 went in the house and when he realized that I didn't care he stopped crying and went about playing. I find that when you make a huge deal out of something, like BM does, it just makes it worse.
Well it was bath night and SS5 didn't want to get in the tub, because it would hurt the tiny scrap and the two little blisters he got walking in the flip flops that I told him not to wear. FDH finally got him in and he wasn't about to put his feet in the water until I walked in and he wash him like I always do. I insisted that he stand up so I could wash his butt and I took my sweet time doing so as the cut needed to be cleaned off as well. Again FDH walks in and he is in tears. It had to be done and I told him that SS5 just needs to grow up.
He proceeds to tell me that it will be different when it's my kid, and out kid will cry like that too. Maybe in the beginning when they are a BABY, but come one at 5 I feel a little scrap on a BOY is completely normal and not life threatening.
Also a HUGE deal with the sKids...
Falling down, tripping, paper cuts, food that is too 'hot' (more like anything that isn't cold), being too hot or too cold, tummy aches (no matter how minor), 5 day old cuts when the band-aide falls off, biting their lip/tongue, bed time, the dark, heights, anything new, bad dreams, throwing up or feeling like trowing up, death (this one is new), self inflicted injuries, ect.
The best part is both SS5 and SS7 can get hurt and excuse himself from play other kids then burst into tears the minute they sees FDH or I.
Maybe I am too hard on them but they do get on my nerves.
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Ok, I can attest that it's
Ok, I can attest that it's definately "nurture" and here's why.
SD5 is here week on week off. DH's other two kiddos live here full time. Both my older bios live here full time, and DH's bios with me live here full time. So we have the whole range of younger AND older than SD5.
SD5 whines at the drop of a hat.
SD9 and SS13 don't fucking dare. I'd eat them alive.
My DS13 and DD8 don't whine EVER. BD2 rarely whines. Typical 2 year old stuff. Our infant cries, but doesn't whine. Nope, it's just SD5. And she does it NONSTOP for the first day or two when she comes back from BM's.
Toward the end of the week, right before she goes back to BM, she has leveled out, gotten into our routine, and has dropped the "whining gets me rewards" act. It's a miracle.
Good so it's not just me then
Good so it's not just me then
I told FDH our child will be like us (not BM's evil clone) When I was a kid I would run around playing all day and when I finally stopped my mom would look at me and be like what happened to you? Even now as an adult I am like that - a few years ago I broke my toe, then went hiking and didn't say anything until I took my show off at the end of the day and some one saw it, it was bruised and red. I just taped it to the one beside it and went about my night.
It also annoys me that FDH thinks that just because he has kids that makes him the expert. Every child is different and when you take BM out of the equation I think he will be surprised at the results. Not saying it will be BETTER, just different.