I am happy for BM (and Karma)
BM just got a new job. Based on what I have been told about BM's past this sounds like her first real '9 to 5' job. I am very happy for her, because for once she will understand what the rest of us go though. Where does Karma come in? Well BF has a very demanding job and puts in a lot of hours (some times close to 60 a week). Before I came along he needed BM to help him with the boys, but at the time she was just working part time so it wasn't a big deal even though she made it out to be one. When I came into the picture, I helped out as much as a could until I found a '9 to 5' job but even then I was able to adjust my hours to meet our needs and get the boys to school/daycare in time and get them from day care before they close. BM was also always giving BF a hard time about not being there for the boys - missing doc appts, and school things because of work. She told him a few times that he was a 'bad' father and if he didn't care then he should just let her have them. Hello some one needs to work and pay for insurance and doc visits! And any one that works knows it's not easy to just take off work, you try and that is what matters. Some times you make it and some you don't.
So BM has called BF like 3 times to tell him that she got a new job, not that he really cares. She is trying to brag about it but this job sounds like it it going to be a lot of work, more than she is used to. And she told BF that she would miss SS3's doc appt in June becuase she can't get off work. Then she went on to say that she wasn't sure what to do because she has to be at work before 'daycare' opens. (by day care I mean her mother-in-law who runs a daycare out of her house which we use her too on our weeks - very nice lady.) I think she was waiting for BF to offer up something but he didn't. He said that is wasn't his problem and HE couldn't help her. I think she wants me to help her, which is funny. 
but given my last txt to her, I don't think she wants to ask. If she does i would consider but she will have to ask me I am not offering.
Any one want to take bets on how long she keeps this job (which does sound like a really nice job and a really good place)? I say 3 to 4 months.
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Comments
*like* At least she has
*like*
At least she has gotten a job. Look at it as helping your DH, by helping his child, if you don't want it to seem like you're helping BM by returning the help she once gave your DH.
Yes she helped him but made a
Yes she helped him but made a BIG deal about it. And he would/will help her IF he can but I told him he should make a BIG deal about it too like she did and 'demand' that she pick them up as soon as she can (no running to the store or whatever), stuff like that. Nothing really mean or anything.
It's not so much that she needs his help (or that he can help her because of his work schedule, he can't drop everything just because she got a job) but that she doesn't know what she is going to do on her weeks and wanted him to help her figure it out, which it's HER week so she needs to find her own plan that works for her (what works for her may not work for us). She has a man and I feel like she should have been talking to HIM about what THEY were going to do, instead of calling BF. It doesn't really involve us unless she wants it to. Also her biggest concern was what to do when School starts again - which is like 3 months away. It's not something she needs a plan for right this second.
I think what she was really getting at - which kind of offends me - but she wants ME to change my schedule and help her out the way I help BF out, but with BF it's only every other week so it's not a big deal if I do it for her it's going to cut into my hours at work. But it offends me because it's like my job is not as important as hers. I could easily figure out a way to do it and BF and I aren't going to tell her that we are trying to figure out a way for me to be a stay at home 'mom' (eventually), but that is just a plan for now. If it happens we can cross that bridge at that time.
Her and I are NOT friendly. I wasn't txting her, she was txting me and I was ignoring her, until like the 3rd time then I finally had enough asked her to stop txting me- rather forcefully. I wouldn't say she is toxic, more retarded. She has threatened me, offended me and lied to BF about me (all more than once). So when it comes to her I have trust issues and she doesn't understand why we can't be friends (which we have tried but she keeps doing that stupid stuff so now I just avoid her). I LOVE the boys though and would love the chance to spend more time with them. But I don't want to offer, if she asks I would do it and I told BF that but again it would be on my terms. She is really bad about not dropping them off/picking them up on time and that would have to change. I would be doing this for the kids not her and this would not make us 'friends' so there would be no need for her to talk to me unless it was about the boys.:)