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Letting go...

Silent River's picture

I have learned that being part of a blended family is an ongoing and never ending process of letting go. At least this has been my personal experience.

Letting go of...

- the fairy tail little girl dream of getting married and living happily ever after with one man

- the dream of growing old with someone, your best friend, who has not started the growing old part with another woman

- the crazy idea that you will ever be your husbands #1, that position goes to his bio daughters

- ever being his only woman and then realizing you will always have to share him, either emotionally, mentally or physically, as well as time wise...yes, always second place or even farther back so step aside me.

- personal space... It is all raped and owned by other women. To include the car, the house, the master bedroom and bathroom, my food, income, etc.

Yep, learning to let go... :,(

Comments

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Amen, sister. I had a really rough time a couple of months ago and sat there one night contemplating things. How did my life end up like THIS? It was at that moment that I realized "my light was going out....."

I'm not the same. I've disengaged. I'm doing the best I can, but feel like a hamster on the wheel, lots of effort and little gain....

~ Moon

Silent River's picture

"my light was going out....."

Wow, that says it all. That is how I feel today, and I wonder if I will feel any better tomorrow or is this the mountain I die on...

zerostepdrama's picture

(((HUGS)))

This is how I feel at times...

Sometimes I feel like I got dealt the bad hand...even though its the hand I willingly chose Sad

Silent River's picture

"in order to be good parents, you have to put each other first" stands out, broken.lost. My parents were always united and I so respect that. I had made every attempt to unite with him where my son was involved (son is now grown and gone). DH changes his own rules, lowers stanard for his daughters (11, 24, 27). That really hurts, that he can not seem to set any boundries with his but is more then willing to notice every little thing mine did wrong and set up standards.
His adult daughters use our master bath like it belongs to them and he says nothing. No balls. He just gave the one our best car to run around in because she is without. This leaves us with the two vehicles with 240,000 miles. This is the car he informed me my son could not use because son is not on our policy, and I agreed. Now he denies it and says son was too young and SD24 is more responsible. I rode with her because it was just the two of us and she wanted to be the driver. Her driving was NO better then my SONS. I was shocked because I figured it would be very experienced. He also aligns with her against me like she is his wife and I am the daughter. I CAN'T TAKE IT. I hate this and if it desolves, I will NEVER EVER remarry or even date. Being a single mom for 15 years with no family in area, no child support....easier. Wow am I.