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Normal Conversation

Siferra's picture

My SS5 has some speech and social issues that I don't know how to handle. He is in a special kindergarten to help deal with the issues, but I am at the end of my rope at home.

He just won't have a normal conversation with anybody. He'll ask for things "I want cookies" and he'll answer questions "Do you want peanut butter?" "yes please". But if I ask him what he did at school today he'll just stare at me. If I prod further and say 'Did you sing a song?" he'll answer yes or no but those answers doesn't seem to line up with reality. I could have just asked if he flew a space ship and gotten the same answer.

I do my best to discourage pointing for things and that does OK to get him to ask for things. I just was hoping that by 5 I could start to actually TALK with him. Grr

Comments

totalof4's picture

Try not to get too upset... There may be more here than meets the eye. It may be something he can't help.
It seems as if you all have taken the first step and gotten him in a school that can help with the situation. Kudos!

I have a younger sister. She did exactly what you have described, the only difference (from the description on this aspect)is she would sometimes repeat what others would say but never made her own conversation. For instance I would tell her, "Her Name, Go ask Mom if we can have some cookies"! She would go to our Mom and say, "Her (own) Name, Go ask Mom if we can have some cookies"! So our mother always knew it was ME!! lmao

Although our Mom and others suspected something was wrong, it was not confirmed until her 1st grade year of school.
It turned out she has MR (Mental Retardation)and a touch of Austism. It wasn't something a stranger would have known by looking at her, just in her (verbal) communications. As she got older and started to do other things did it become more apparent. She was placed in a local school for MR and she has gotten through life pretty well. It may just be he has a disabillity of some sort. I'm not saying he has MR, I'm just sharing our similar experience. btw, she can carry a conversation now. Its slightly limited but she can do it well enough to feel like a real commincation.

If you need to talk, let me know.

RaeRae's picture

It's good that he's in a special kindergarten. My SS6 is only NOW being tested (actually, we signed papers for testing yesterday), even though we have asked for help for him for a year and a half now. He barely 'passed' kindergarten last year, and is not doing well in 1st grade. He has speech problems, problems expressing himself, and anger and frustration at not being able to express himself, needs, wants, all the time.

I feel your frustration. Remain open to everything the school has to offer, and ask for more if you have to.

Siferra's picture

SS was 10 weeks premature, so we had a pretty good heads up that there might be problems. We were lucky that we got him in the school we have him in. I just have never been really good with kids. I get better with kids once they are able to talk with me, and I was hoping that I would be at that stage with SS before now.

totalof4's picture

Siferra, I feel your pain but this is going to require patience and alot of it on your part. You will still have frustrations that go along with a possible disability but they won't/shouldn't be the same as the ones you get from dealing with a child that can control their actions and is just stubborn or disobedient. 10 weeks preemie, just confirms the likelihood that it may not be within his control to give you the conversation you feel you desperately need.

You will have to conform to his NEEDS. Make sure this is a road you are prepared to travel. It will be difficult, I promise you that. It takes lots of love and/or patience. As SP most of us seem to run out of patience with our Skids quicker than we do our Bkids.

However, You will likely deal with BM and probably DH wanting to BABY him because of it. I can tell you THAT is NOT the way to handle it either. He has to be treated like any other child, yet with the knowledge of his abilities and the understanding of his "possible" disbilities.

Good Luck