We've had SS5 full time for 3 weeks now. I've been moody and melancholy lately and my DH has started to notice.

I always knew that marrying a man with a child meant we were making a new family with a child already in it. I also knew it was a possibility he would be with us full time eventually. But, I'm frustrated that I never have any alone time with my DH anymore. My SS doesn't listen very well, and is in a HUGE whiny stage, so I feel like every 5 minutes I'm telling him to stop that, put that down, eat your food, don't jump on the couch, be quiet, don't whine, etc.

I've never been a kid person, and so I'm feeling like I'm ALWAYS having to pretend to be someone I'm not. My DH is aware that I'm not in the best of moods lately, and he keeps asking what is wrong. In the car today I said we could talk about it later (cause SS was in the car, and I can't exactly complain about it while he's there), so DH knows it's about SS.

How do I tell him how I'm feeling when there's nothing he can do about it? It's not like BM can take him and it's not like I want to leave. I just want to find out how to even like him. Right now he's nothing but a chore to me. I don't feel any warmth or affection for this child. I care for him because my husband cares for him, and I care for my husband. But it's hard to be a full time stepmom when I don't even like kids...

It would crush my husband to know this...