This may be long..... I wasn't going to post anything b/c of all the drama associated with my posts, but I have to..... I can't think right now and am falling apart.

For those of you who don't know, BM is mentally ill. She has borderline personality disorder, bi-polar, schizophrenic and other things I can't recall at present. SD21 moved out when she was 17 to live w/BM b/c our rules were too harsh. She refused to follow our rules, so it was fine with us that she moved out. Although now we realize what a horrible mistake this was. Anyway, BM is not medicated and hasn't been for about 2 yrs. When she's not medicated, she poses a risk to small children b/c she can hurt them. SD21 has 2 children, 2yo girl and a 2mo boy. Since the 2yo was a baby, she's left her with BM. I've called CPS about it for 2 yrs now and no one would do anything. They made SD21 sign an agreement that she would not allow BM to be alone with the children and agreed that BM would never watch the children. However, she's continued to allow BM to do so. I've called CPS until they've asked me to stop calling. Sunday night, SD18 had to go to BMs to get a paper signed for her to be able to get $$ for college, since BM is on disability for her MI.

SD18 knocked on the door and no one answered but she heard the baby crying. After she heard the baby, she opened the door and walked in. BM wasn't surprised someone just walked into her apartment, just said hello and signed her paper. SD18 noticed something not right with the baby, and the little girl was running around naked and dirty. SD18 called SD21 and told her to come get her children. She refused. So, SD18 called DH and told him, and I called the cops this time, screw CPS. The cops came and took both children to the hospital. The baby has shaken baby syndrome, but no permanent damage. Thank GOD! The little girl has not permanent damage physically. So, obviously CPS took the children and arrested BM & SD21. CPS released the children to their gma (their daddys mother). She called my DH today begging us to take the children b/c she has health issues and cannot raise them.

No question we would take them. We called the CPS worker to see what we have to do. They tell us that they are not going to recommend placement with us b/c SD21 made up some ridiculous story about us assaulting her BF with a hand gun. Obviously she is mentally ill as well (we already knew this). I tried to explain to CPS that she's making it up just to get even with us for calling CPS in the first place. They say that they can't place the kids with us b/c of her allegations, true or not. After apeaking with the case worker for 2 hours, we've convinced them to give us an audience tomorrow at their office. It blows my mind that SD would make up something just to keep her children away. PAS to the max.... so if they don't place with us, they'll go to foster care.... SCARY!!!!! I don't want that!

Now, I'm running around like a chicken trying to get everything our lawyer says we'll need to prove we are decent people. DH and I are very active in our community and sit on several community based boards as well as have personal friendships with civic and law related individuals in our community, so this isn't a problem, it's just stressful.

SD told the case worker that she wished she'd never had the children and didn't want them back. If they are going to permanently remove them, we will move for adoption. I'm scared as hell and nervous.....
I need hugs and support PLEASE!!!!!