I hate being a step mom...I AM NOT CRAZY
Ive tried a few times to post here. I need confirmation that I am not alone, that I am not crazy and that it is not wrong for me to set boundries for 13 yr old SD. And how in the hell can I get my husband to get onboard with trying to raise his daughter with morals, values and to let me correct her when she is wrong. I cannot even tell her one simple thing like dont throw the spoons in the trash with the paper plate she's eaten ice cream on withouth BF blowing up at me. For the love of God this SD is 13 with ADHD and being constant is important in parenting. She is devious, deceptive. Manipulative and he sees no wrong I'm ready to call it quits. When we got married 5 years ago she wasn't even in the picture...4 years ago CPS & courts gave us custody and terminated the BM's parental rights. Cant he see, this is an option for me to try to mother her.. I don't HAVE TO BE HERE. I had accepted the responsibilty out of love for my husband but even now my life is going to Hell in a hand basket. I hate being a step mom
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I lost my shit this week and
I lost my shit this week and basically told DH that I was leaving with our children. I told him we can live separately, that I won't cheat, and after SS12 grows up, I'll come back. He relented, but I think we need some counseling or something to figure this out. You could try that, I really can't afford to leave, but my DH knows I'll do it anyway.
Sounds like you got your
Sounds like you got your hands full. You might try this...I am not correcting her...I am EDUCATING HER!! We wash silverware and reuse it. It is not a throw away item like paper plates. HELLO...is anyone home. I know I could not do it. I wish you the best...find a counselor...it does not always fix things...but it helps.
Yes and thank you. Like I
Yes and thank you. Like I said that silverware was just a small issue. Last week she handed me a bottle of shampoo and said 'it wasnt working for her hair' ..well yesterday I was soaking in the tub and thought well, I might as well wash my hair and was going to use the bottle she gave me, long story short., she had filled it with a dipilatory hair remover..the smell burned my nose and I am just thankful I caught it before I used it. Well took the bottle to he father and told him to smell it and that she tried to injure me with mixed chemicals. I even went to 2 stores, bought 2 bottles of the same produce so he could see that that is not shampoo in the bottle she gave me, and of course, he still believes her and I am the villan.
I am at my wits end. I plan to call the CPS casemanager that handled the custody, of course case has been closed, but they have to intervene because at this point I feel like tearing her head off, her father refuses to parent her and she is devious....Its not my fault that her BM chose to use drugs and abandoned her. God help us, we need it.
I feel the same way, I blew
I feel the same way, I blew up, I lost it. I canceled his Debit card on my account and decided that I wouldn't drink today because I definatly would have done more damage. I cant help the way I feel. I wish I could send SD to boot camp or somewhere that I don't have to live in constant HELL
Well thank you all so much. I
Well thank you all so much. I know I am in a 'situation'. Not my fault, not my problem..Im going to turn it back over to CPS and let them pay for the counceling that its going to take for everyone involed...Me. Husband and SD...she is crazy mess...he is doing that pity parenting and I am the enemy...this is too out of control....time will tell...God keep me. Thanks again I am sure I'll be back soon. This has been a GREAT RELEASE and I've got alot of good advice....I will keep you posted. God bless and goodnight.
Good night, Sher!
Good night, Sher!
I feel for you...IMHO, SD's
I feel for you...IMHO, SD's are worse than SS's. (I have both-only SD is here half the time and SS22 just got out of prison)
She put ammonia in your shampoo bottle??? Imagine what she's doing to your toothbrush...years ago SDnow11 asked me "which toothbrush is yours" I told her the color of her dad's was mine and haven't kept my real toothbrush in the bathroom since(unless it is locked up with my contacts, contact solution, floss, make-up, and anything else that zI don't want contaminated.
But ammonia?? And I'm sure precious isn't capable of such a thing, so you must have done it to get her in trouble you evil crazy SM. Yeah, my husband doesn't think SD11 lies-so basically he has called ME a liar a few times in the past few years whenever there were conflicting stories.
I'm ordering a nanny cam, maybe 2, this week because some people have to be SHOWN...and I will pay hell for secretly recording SD being in me and DHs bedroom pilferrring and snooping. She will deny it, and I will show DH that that kid lies just like they all do, mine included.
And the pity parenting. I'm borrowing that phrase. My DH is a recovering alcoholic and he was a shitty, absent parent to all of his kids except the youngest, and she's practically invisible to him. Shes only here half the time b/c DH doesnt want to pay child support. Oh, and because BM doesn't want her full time either. BM only got pregnant to try to trap Dh, so this kid isn't even supposed to be here. She's unwanted by both of her parents which has caused her severe emotional problems. Who do you think pays for that? Me and my BD do. Her parents do, too, but BM deserves it and DH should have kept his d*ck in his pants if he didn't want anymore kids. Can't trust an evil b*itch like his ex to stay on the pill-get a vasectomy dumbass. But no, he didn't do that.
If you don't have any children with DH, you could leave, but then so could I. I don't want to leave my home. My BD is very happy and comfortable here and it is my credit that got us our home and as long as I am here, the BM isn't and someday the SD will move out.
In seven years she will be 18. House will be paid for in 11. Anyway, you are definately one of us.
Oh there must be something in
Oh there must be something in the air!!!
All over the world tonight....
OH and I had a huge blow up last night - you guessed about precious SDstb13.
She called me cheap, said I don't look that great, offered to cook for me so that they could eat NICE food..... and *I* copped a serve from OH because I had the temerity to complain about it????
Fuck you OH, fuck you.
Apparently there must have been something done to her to CAUSE her to be so nasty because that is just NOT her, am I sure that is what she meant? And the offering to cook? He thought that was really nice of her, she was trying to help!!!! I should be grateful that she wants to help me!!!!
I repeat - fuck you OH.
Good morning Friends. Wow, I
Good morning Friends. Wow, I have some now. I have felt alone on this. I have always put my family and patients first. Now this blended family is falling apart at the seams. My youungest BD is 21 and just blessed me with a beautiful grandson on Christmas Eve. Boy thats another blog all together. My husband even throws my BD up in arguements...throws fits when I go over to see them. And granted, she is an adult, but she is still my baby. How can he be so critical of my daughter yet be blind to the actions of his own? I agree my spouse is a great part of the problem, actually he causes the most problems. I am just tired of trying but if I cant attempt to be a SM then she will have NONE, save the crach head prostitute that didn't even comply with CPS to attempt to keep her parental rights. I gotta go for now. Havn't had my first cup of coffee yet. I will be back to talk later. Thanks to you all. Have a blessed STEP Parent kinda day
YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!! I was
YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!! I was beginning to beat myself up over the situation but I just refuse to any longer. I wont let this kinda bull s*** take its toll on me any longer...I'm now feeling like oh well...IDC anymore...I am going to keep on going. SD is not my problem. And you know what..I had even let them drive me crazy to the point of getting put on anti depressants..I am not the problem..They are. And they are not my problems to worry about. And yeah, father did support me for a while, telling her all that blah, blah, 'youre not going to disrespect my wife like that and all, now this is what it has become...total chaos and confusion. And I know God is not the author of confusion. So I say thank you...BF won't support me then I can not help her anyways! Have a blessed day...gotta go to work
