Dreading Saturday......
As some of you know from my previous post, I have to meet BM Saturday in Indianapolis to drop SD15 off. But I opened my big mouth and offered to split the cost & share a hotel room with BM, SD12, & SD15. Don't mind sharing the room with Skids, but BM. Am I crazy? I must have been when I offered to do it. But I thought that I was being the bigger person by doing it. Now the more I think about it and after receiving an e-mail from BM saying how excited she is for our girls night out......I'm wishing I wouldn't have to do this. I told DH that before next Christmas, we need to change it. Because I am not going to do this every year for the next 5 years. I can't....I can barely stand to be around BM. I try my hardest to be civil with her and keep the peace, because of the kids. But there comes a time when enough is enough and I'm tired of BM's manipulative ways. I will be so happy the day SD12 turns 18 and we don't have to deal with BM as much.
Well, wish me luck and pray I don't kill BM in her sleep. lol
I'll update everyone on this trip when I get home.
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Well, I can say that the BM
Well, I can say that the BM I deal with is not a gem.....BM is one of the worst to deal with. BM has made mine & DH's life a living hell the past 10 years. I have been wishing everyday since I offered it, for the chance to take it back. But BM was being a real bitch (like normal) when DH & her were discussing the visitation since the new custody agreement. And she was complaining about the cost and blah, blah, blah......so I offered. But now wish that I hadn't. So, we'll see how it goes.
I don't know why I didn't
I don't know why I didn't take it back as fast as I offered to do it. I guess because there is this little voice in my head that keeps saying this is the right thing to do to show the Skids that their BM & SM can get along. But I did however tell DH that I am not doing it ever again. There is going to have to be some other type of arrangements made for next year.
Yeah I know the hotel has a pool...but that is out. Because BM is already planning on her & the girls (SD15 & SD12) going swimming when we meet at the hotel. There is no way in hell I'm gonna go swimming with them. But I may have to check on the bar thing. And it's gonna be about 8pm until SD15 & I get there to meet up with BM & SD12....so maybe if I'm lucky I'll only have an hour or 2 awake and then go to sleep & leave real early the next morning. lol
choked on my candycane upon
choked on my candycane upon reading that one! Damn girl...I need to borrow that halo you're wearing, is that ok?
lol, seriously honey good for you for being so mature. At least this trip will be good for the entertaining stories. When BM is asleep...just step away from those pillows...just say no to justifiable homicide.
good luck
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland
Sure, you can barrow it
Sure, you can barrow it anytime.
Thanks, I think that was my initial reason for offering to do it. Was to be the more mature of the 3 of us (DH, me, & BM). And I'm sure I will have some very entertaining stories when I get back. And will for sure share them with all of you. And I'll try my hardest to not suffocate her with those big plushy hotel pillows. lol
Haha. What were you
Haha. What were you drinking the day you offered to split the hotel? lol. In all seriousness, I hope it all works out. Good Luck to you. You never know, maybe this will turn into something good.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
Now that I think about it, I
Now that I think about it, I may have had a little to drink that night. lol Nah, I was just trying to be the bigger person and hope that maybe it would show DH & BM how to act to make things easier for their girls.
WHAT?!?!
WHAT?!?! Awkwarddddd....good luck to you. Guess I should go read some history on this board. I am friends with EX BM but still would not do a sleepover. I did however let her kid-sit for my own biokids once. Things have been pretty great between us since I divorced her ex too...now, back in the day...she would have gone for it, but only for morbid curiosity. Even today a lot of our relationship is based on that...and her trying to get info on our mutual EX.
Oh my Shell97...what have
Oh my Shell97...what have you done. How dare you make yourself look good in spite of yourelf.
Your DH should sooo commend you for this by taking you out on the town or diamonds or something. That's some awesome leverage.
Yeah I told DH that he owes
Yeah I told DH that he owes me big time for doing this. When we all lived in the same state, I use to do the meet half way pick ups for him from time to time. Only because DH can not stand to be near his ex at all. He can rarely stand to have a phone conversation with her. But since we moved, he has stepped up and taken on some more responsibility of dealing with BM. Only because I have refused from time to time to be the middlewoman and deliver his messages to her and vise versa. I still do occasionally, but not as often as I use to.
I think DH is trying to make it up to me though. Because he bought me a laptop for Christmas. Because I only get to use the computer during the day when he is at work & the kids are at school or late at night when they are all sleeping. So I think he is trying to make it up to me. But I'm not sure that a laptop can make up for the hell I am going to be put through on Saturday. But who knows maybe BM will surprise me & actually act like a normal human being. lol
Well, if I could afford it I
Well, if I could afford it I would get my own room. But neither me or BM can afford it. And before the whole room thing came about, originally DH & I were both gonna go and just drop SD15 off and turn around and come home. But then DH found out he had to work that Saturday and then this plan came into play. So we shall see how it goes. Luckily for me, SD15 & I won't get there until about 8pm and we'll be going to sleep shortly after we get there. Then I'm getting up real early to come home. Trying to keep it at the shortest amount of time there with BM as possible.
I guess one thing to keep in
I guess one thing to keep in mind is that if it ends up sucking and being a difficult weekend to get through do not lash out at your DH because at the end of the day it was your decision to be the bigger person. SO, if she is annoying or bitchy or super bitchy by being passive aggressive which I hate just do your best to let it roll off your back and remember that you made the choice to do the, "right thing," regardless of what her actions may show. ALSO... once you do this you can always say, "you know what I tried that once and it didn't work out so well so moving forward it would be best if we stay separate."
Good luck chica.
Yeah, I don't blame DH at
Yeah, I don't blame DH at all. It was my big mouth that offered to do it and I have to deal with it. And your right, if it doesn't go good....I can tell DH that I tried, but it didn't work and will never happen again. This is my last attempt to be the bigger person with BM. I try to do things that will teach the Skids & my own son how people should act towards & treat other people. But if BM wants to continue with her selfish "my way or no way" actions, then this will be my last attempt. I am just trying to make things easier on their (DH & BM) girls. By showing the girls that we can all be civil with each other and get along. So, we'll see.
I wouldn't say the
I wouldn't say the relationship BM & I have is bad, but I wouldn't say it is good either. I would say it is touch and go....sometimes it is good & other times (when I don't agree with her) it is bad. I'm hoping Saturday will be one of the good days. lol
Ya know something, I never thought of that. BM & the girls will probably be cracking jokes after I leave about what I looked like when I woke up. Guess I'll have to sleep standing up so that my hair isn't all messed up. lol
I wish I could back out, but it's 3 days away and BM already booked the room and is expecting my half of the cost of it on Saturday when I get there. So, I'm just gonna go ahead with it and remember to never offer to do it again.
Hmmmm...Take all your
Hmmmm...Take all your fabulous cotton comfy but cute and sleek pajamas, your great scented body lotions and face creams. Make sure your hair is 100% even when you crawl outta bed. Make sure your hands & toes are perfectly manicured and your wedding ring is sparkling. Take a really great NY Times Bestseller and cuddle up to read with a scented candle you bought from home for your room. All the things that will probably make her say "Hmm no wonder he's with her and not with me."
LOL...I would get a kick out of showing the ex just how fabulous I am.
That sounds like a great
That sounds like a great idea. I'll get up a little earlier than I was going to on Saturday and do my hair, nails, and make-up before we leave. I'll make sure I look my best, unlike I normally do to travel(wearing sweats, no make-up, and hair not done). Thanks for that great idea!
Goodness NEVER let the ex
Goodness NEVER let the ex see you undone! Keep the make up natural though. Sun kissed cheeks, a nude gloss for your lips and some mascara should do it.
It's only one weekend but seriously have things to do. Maybe even take your laptop and keep us posted on the happenings!!!! How funny would that be?
Make sure you look as NATURAL as possible, she doesn't have to know that you worked on it.
I don't think BM has ever
I don't think BM has ever seen me undone. lol And no worries there with the over doing of make-up....I try to keep it as natural looking as possible, because DH hates the "war paint" as he calls it. lol I wish I could take my laptop.....but DH hasn't given it to me yet (I don't think he has picked it up yet). We do have the one we're giving SD12 for Christmas, but DH won't let me take it. Says he doesn't want SD12 to see it before she gets it. But I would love to be able to take it and keep you all updated on this. Maybe I can convince him to let me take it or maybe mine will some how magically appear before Saturday. lol Anyways, thanks for the tips.