Awwwwwwww....Yes......The Set Up
So we went to our next door neighbors for a BBQ today. Keeping in mind that DH grounded the step brat to her room for a week for her grades and she isn't done with her grounding until Monday..Tomorrow..
Hubby had run up to the store and my daugther, myself and my son all got ready to go next door. I called the step brat (10 and a half) down staires to see what if anything her dad had said to her going to the BBQ next door. She said he had not said anything to her..So I said "okay, well we are going next door now, heres the phone, and your dad will be back in about 10 minutes." And back up to her room I sent her.
About five minutes later my oldest comes over to our neighbors saying that the step brat wanted to know if she could come over to the BBQ!!!!!(She knows she is grounded!!) I told oldest that she would need to discuss that with her father when he got back.. That's between her and her dad.
So DH comes back from the store, comes over to the neighbors and calls me out side and whats to know "what I think" about letting the step brat out to come to the BBQ..I told him that I have no opinion on that..It wasn't my punishment and that was between HIM and her and totally HIS decision. He says well I told her that I didn't think she deserved it but I wanted to see what you(meaning me) thought first... I told him that I think it's totally his decision and none of my business.
Now...Do all of you see the set up in that???? Am I the only one who gets "set up" by my DH like that???
I avoided that one like a pro!! LOL..I was very proud of myself..and I will admit that I even gloated a bit..But, just between myself and those fellow step parents on this board..
It irks me that he didn't just tell her "NO"..He catered to her enough to actually try to come over and drag me into it..And another thing....In my opinion, she should have been given an extra day of being grounded to her bed room for ASKING to come next door to the BBQ in the first place!! What do you guys think????
septembers_child
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He never should have told
He never should have told her that he had to talk it over with you first. He should have said, "Give me a few minutes to think about it and I'll get back to you." As soon as he brings you into it, anything he does that goes against what she wants will make you out to be the villain. She'll never believe it was HIS idea to keep her grounded, even if that's what HE wanted to do, because he brought YOUR name into it and they will always blame the step over the bio. So even though you handled it like a pro, he handled it like a sissy. (Sorry, first word that popped into my head.) Dishing out the punishment is only part of the battle with kids. He made you out to be the scapegoat the second he said he'd have to talk it over with you first. He can't do that. He has to accept the full responsibility of discipline, even being the "bad guy" because the kids get angry when they get punished. Otherwise, it'll always look like whatever discipline "he" metes out is realling coming from you and that won't do a thing to encourage a relationship between you and the skids.
~ Anne ~
Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)
Thanks
Anne,
Absolutley no need to apologise! Sissy has come to mind for me more then once along with a few other choice adjectives to describe how my husband handles situations with the step brat. I totally agree with you in everything you said 150%! He ALWAYS sets me up to be "the bad guy" and the "scape goat".
Thanks for the validation...