I would if I didn't work from home.

I make conference calls I really don't need to be on more important than they are. Just to get that last bit of peace and quiet. Does that count? And yes, I work from home.

I feel bad because my SD is really not that bad. She must be attention starved at her mom's because she is attached to my hip the minute I get home from work. I try to schedule my appts or dinners out with friends when she is with us. I tell myself it gives her and her dad some quality time }:)

I thought I was the only one who avoids being at home. I work all day so I want to come.home.to.MY son and spend time with him not the skids. I just avoid time with them and take my son 13months to the park,long walks, grocery
Shopping and on the weekends I try and make plans with campy and.friends so I'm not here either.

Oh Wow, lmao. SD is here EOW.. how convenient that I have to work EOW. And yes they match up perfectly. I switched my work weekend a few years ago when FDH and I moved in together. For a while it allowed FDH and I to have a weekend together, and now it allows us to have a weekend together with BS7months.

And YES it does allow father/daughter time

Yep, sure do. I cannot tell you how many times I have missed the bus, had to help an elderly person across the street or my jerk boss gave me extra work at the last minute when they are here. Its amazing, it only happens when they visit... I rationalize it by telling myself that it allows them to bond with their dad. That rationalization makes me feel better.

The summer ss stayed a month with us I was in the best shape of my life. I made sure I spent alot of time out of the house walking/jogging.

Definitely. That's sanity right there.

absolutely. i hide from my bkids too sometimes!

I don't make up excuses. I just say "I am going out" - my DH knows that it is to get away from the SDs. Why should I lie to hide the fact that I can't stand being in the house with SD14 when everyone is aware we can't stand the sight of each other?

I used to go to the gym and run errands when we were in the midst of hell with SD15. Now I still force myself to get out, since I work from home when SS is here. It forces his Dad to make dinner and watch TV with him. I got in a golf league one night a week and with volunteer work and yoga classes, I am not so focused on the household. BS16 is a teenager and rarely home so I am not neglecting him. This works at keeping me less involved on DH's parenting.

Been there, done that! I'm sure we all have. I think it's a survival mechanism.

I try to go to my parent's house as often as possible with my boys (DS9 and DS4months)...

Here's a question for ya'll... does DH get upset and have feelings hurt if he knows you are avoiding skids? DH is so hurt by my not wanting to be around... and it really has me feeling HORRIBLE!! But at the same time, I am not a nice person if I force myself to hang around and deal with the skids... I don't want to subject anyone to that... not DH, not DS's, not even the skids...

I used to work every weekend and holiday - 12 hour shifts, sometimes on days, sometimes nights - so for years before we moved in together I had a very valid excuse for not coming over when SD was at DF's place. I didn't really feel bad since I was putting myself through school and I just told DF that I did not make the choice to have children yet and I was going to pursue my own goals regardless of his situation until I felt ready to accept that role. He was cool with it. After he moved into my place, I still worked the same schedule for 2 years and so even though I was physically in the same house as them for at least part of the time, I was tired from work and had homework to do, so again, he was cool that I wasn't spending time with them. I figured it was good to let her have her time with him since the day would probably come when we'd have our own kids and she might not get as much of his attention. After I quit that job and got a steady 9-5 type deal, I used to hide out there, go visit family members or make plans with friends, etc. but then I found out that SD had been lying and telling everyone who would listen that I had been "stealing ALL her time with her dad, NEVER letting her spend time with him, and even threatening her with taking even more time away". Ummm...I was not even PHYSICALLY able to do that with my previous work schedule, and then had made a point to leave them alone when I changed jobs!! At that point I just figured, it's MY house anyway (I bought it on my own), so why am I forced to leave my own house because of that discomfort? So instead, I started being home ALL THE TIME on those weekends, doing EVERYTHING together with them, and even doing things with her on my own. I told DF that because we are to be married, SD needs to get used to us being together as a family. I rarely did things just with my mom or dad independently growing up: we were always together, so I said that's how I thought it should be, plus spending time with her on my own would allow us to bond without him. I also ratcheted up the discipline so she really has to watch how she acts over here or there are specific consequences (too bad the same can't be said about her other home). So now she's realizing the definition of "self-fulfilling prophecy" about not getting to spend time alone with her dad, and he thinks we're all one big happy family...In theory I hate mind games, but in this situation I just couldn't help myself!