Ex-Spouse/ In laws not respecting family boundaries
I married my husband six months ago but we have been together for three years. In that time, his family (with the exception of one brother) has completely rejected me. It's been three years and his mom has never met me. His family never showed up to our wedding.
They still however hang out with his exwife and his son. The exwife takes his son to all of my husbands families events while we don't know they are happening and hear about them later. We are not invited to holidays, BBQ's, family gatherings.
My husband has absolutely let his family know that he is not ok with her still coming around and how wrong it is that they refuse to meet me. His one brother who was in our wedding doesn't see an issue with this. We have told the exwife that we want to be the one to bring his son to family gatherings and she refuses to allow this.
How would you handle being rejected by your husbands entire family? How would you handle an ex that refuses to respect your wishes? How would you feel about an exwife that lies and says she is taking my husbands son to her family's house for the Holidays and it turns out she was at my husbands family's house instead?
I'm not jealous of her, I'm upset that I've never been given a chance and that his entire family dropped my husband because of the divorce and their religious views on divorce.
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Comments
They have made their choice.
They have made their choice. Don't try to fight it. You don't want to be chasing after people who want nothing to do with you.
I think it's horrible that they've chosen the ex over their own son but not everyone can be good parents.
Live your life and enjoy it. You don't know these people and you don't need to from the sounds of it.
I would ask the brother that you do talk with to not tell you about family gatherings, it will only hurt DH.
Sometimes people cannot see
Sometimes people cannot see the wood from the trees. This is most likely one of those times. Stop trying so hard, it's what I did. In a lot of cases, such as mine, the in laws cannot comprehend a second family. The only true family will always be the ex wife and first born child.
It used to hurt me terribly and then I reached a place where it no longer matters. They are welcome to the ex and first born and I don't have to engage in the worship of the firsts. They are not the key to mine or my husbands happiness
Let it go, move on..easier
Let it go, move on..easier said than done, I know; but it can be done and in many cases it is the best alternative. Erase these people and what they do from your life, your thoughts and actions. Let your husband deal with it and be supportive of your husband, but stay out of it.
Who cares what the EX does? She is trying to offend you and it is working; reverse it and let her know you could careless and you are totally unaffected by the stupidity of this situation.
You do not have to fix this situation, nor can you.
Ignore it, something will change eventually.
To be honest, I would
To be honest, I would basically pretend that his family doesn't exist because they are pretending YOU don't either.
Unless you were in a relationship with him while he was still married, you are being shunned for his crimes in their eyes. If you had an affair with a married man.. well then you both are reaping the harvest of what you sowed.