My ss8 is a nice kid. He's intelligent, artistic and does well in school but the way he clings to his dad like a 3 year old is driving me insane!! Yesterday we had to go to the hospital to pick up my dad after he had an operation. We had to take ss8 & ss9 with us as it was after school and we have no one to look after them. We had to sit with my dad on the hospital ward for a bit till the nurse sorted out the paperwork and medication he needed to take with him. SS8 would not stop climbing all over dh, trying to get on his knee, burying his head in dh's chest, grabbing at him etc etc. He would NOT leave dh alone and in a ward full of other people, it was embarrassing!! He is EIGHT years old, going on nine, and although he isn't big for his age he is clearly much too old for that kind of baby behaviour.
Then we took my dad to my aunt's house as he's staying there to recuperate for a couple of weeks rather than be at home on his own. SS has been there before though not all that often, and my aunt is great with kids as she's retired teacher. SS8 was at it again, trying to use dh as a climbing frame and clinging onto him like his life depended on it and it's so pathetic to see!! DH told him to go and play in the garden with his brother and he went for a while but came back and started again.
I've told DH before that this is not normal 8 year old behaviour and he agrees that it needs to stop but then he doesn't seem to do anything about it. Every single time we go somewhere a bit different where SS8 hasn't been/doesn't go very often he starts clinging to dh like a toddler and it's sooooo embarrassing!!! I get that he's shy and that dad is his security figure, but how on earth do we get him to grow up and stop doing it without being cruel and making things worse? DH is at a loss as to how to handle it as he doesn't want to risk making ss feel rejected and lack confidence even more if he pushes him away or ignores him too much, but I reminded him last night that it's only a couple of years before ss has to go to open evenings in high school so does dh really want to be walking around with a 10-11 year old baby clinging onto dad's hand and burying his face in dad's chest in front of a load of other kids?
In general he's quite clingy to dh, constantly saying I love you dad and coming up to bury his face in dh's chest or cling on so tight round dh's neck it nearly chokes him. Dh doesn't encourage this and when we're at home will tell him to get off after a minute, as he's trying to give him whatever reassurance/affection he needs without going overboard, but he says it's much more difficult in public. SS8 won't go to bed without dad has to go and say goodnight and tuck him in, which I think at going on for 9 years old ridiculous! If dh is on the phone or in the middle of doing something, ss8 won't get into bed, he has to hang around waiting and saying "I'm ready dad" about a million times until dh drops what he's doing and goes to put him to bed. I might be wrong, but my thinking is that while ever dh is carrying on with this bedtime ritual it's enabling ss8 to think of himself as a little kid rather than trying to be more grown up. In all other ways he's a great kid but I think he's going to grow up with the same crippling social phobia and shyness that dh suffers from, unless we try and do something about it while he's young.
How have other people dealt with over clingy skids?